Please NOTE!

These songs all have to be SUNG at the top of your lungs. Invite your neighbors for a sweet moonshine christmas carol howl and bark the night away.


Vince Neil’s 12 days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my Crue life gave to me

Twelve drummers later
Eleven drummers hate me
Ten shots at rehab
Nine relapses so far
Eight missing lyrics
Seven walked off stages
Sixx always forgives me

Five come back tours

Four tucked in chins
Three car wrecks
Two saggy boobs
And a joke of a solo career



Axl Rose’s 12 days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my guru said to me

Twelve fans remaining
Eleven years recording
Ten manic depressions
Nine temper tantrums
Eight nervous breakdowns
Seven crystals healing
Six gigs on world tour

Five braids in all

Four producers
Three songs down
Two of them suck
And we’ll never see “Chinese Democracy”



12 Nu Metal days of christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true fate was revealed

Twelve members on stage
Eleven mopy faces
Ten songs a-whining
Nine same a-sounding
Eight labels milking
Seven soundtrack singles
Six tours an album

Live at Ozzfest

Four million sold
Three crap hits
Two muted riffs
And a year from now you’re history



Metallica’s 12 days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
a true fan said to me

Twelve drumming lessons
Eleven Kirks cross-dressing
Ten years since greatness
Nine Lars-fan lawsuits
Eight sold out Grammies
Seven single-versions
Six bells a-tolling

Five Cliff grave rolls

Four greedy whores
Three hair cuts
Two loyal fans
Praying for a drunken Hetfield



12 emo days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my lost love sent to me

Twelve camp fire memories
Eleven joined hands squeezing
Ten fans a-swaying
Nine boys a-crying
Eight three word band names
Seven candy asses
Six violin solos

Five kumbayahs

Four broken hearts
Three lost loves
Two traitor friends
Tell it to your fucking diary




12 Hair Band days of christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
she gave me STD

Twelve former members
Eleven people dive bar
Ten spandex high kicks
Nine cheesy solos
Eight power ballads
Seven backstage blowjobs
Six VH1 lists

Five hair spray cans

Four snake skin boots
Three OD’s
Two raccoon eyes
And a JD bottle filled with tea