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Welcome to my utmost random thoughts on random shit that really doesn't matter much.
This is where my mind takes a dump.
~ Sticks, Stones and Funnybones ~
Part 13 - The Rock Star
The Rock Star
Keith Richards was taken to the ER yesterday. Why? Did old age finally catch up with him, coughing him up panting on the shore of death? Did he need an emergency replenish stock of the formaldehyde he must be shooting up to keep himself pickled in eternally suspended life? No, he fell out of a palm tree, when on vacation on the Fiji islands. Of course. I can’t climb onto my fucking bed without my knees popping, but 62-year old Keith Richards is out there, touring the world, harvesting coconuts.
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The Sex Teacher
OK… I don’t get it. I totally think these kids who get to fuck their sexy chick teachers are absolute heroes, and should be treated like kings by their friends – but what’s in it for the teacher? Look at this chick to the left. That’s Pamela Rogers, 28. She could be a friggin’ porn star. Any number of real men are deprived of the pleasure of shooting their loads on her jugs because she is busy fucking a 13-year old little boy. What the fuck? And don’t give me that crap about her being a pedophile and that she should go to prison for life. That is just equal opportunity legal bullshit. She didn’t hurt anybody. If anything she gave a boy memories for life, until he draws his last breaths on his death bed. These female teachers are not pedophiles. These teachers let these little boys fuck them silly because they are insane. Bat shit crazy. If it wasn’t a 13-year old boy, it would be a best friend, the hot chick at the gym, a john on the street or the family dog. These women are sexually fucked up and we're just all collectively jealous we didn't get there first.
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The Anthem
For once I agree with our President on an issue. The national anthem should be sung in its original fucking language, English. Never mind that the fucking thing is pompous, silly and makes very little musical sense (so little, in fact, that most grown up people can’t seem to sing it correctly), it is still the American national anthem, not the Mexican or the Cuban… This issue has been brought up since the Spanish speaking networks are collectively launching a campaign for the anthem to be sung in Spanish by non-English speaking immigrants, and also for the Spanish speaking community to come closer together in their new country. What’s next? They want to do all commerce in pesos and build shanty towns on steep hill sides? Fuck that shit. You’re in fucking America! Strive to embrace the fact that you either didn’t want your old country, or that they didn’t want you, and get with the fucking program. Otherwise you might as well go back to the fucked up sun baked desert existence you lived before, in your own fucking sad excuse for a banana republic, and cry to the local dictator about your fucking rights.
I don’t sing the fucking national anthem myself, because I am a bastard, but if I ever would it would be in English, not in fucking Swedish. Unless I was singing the Swedish national anthem, of course. Not that I would, but still…
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The Profit
Exxon, the world’s largest oil company, just presented their Q1 results and lo and behold, they made a solid Godzillion dollars. Well, it was more like $8 billion, but once you hit a billion it is all just a shit load of money anyway. This was the fifth highest quarterly profit for any public company in history – Exxon also having the number one a couple of quarters ago.
One Godzillion dollars. Why do I all of a sudden feel extra ripped off at the gas pump, paying a record high $3.19 for my premium? Carman was right in his comment a year or so ago, about why gas prices spike after big disasters:
“Remember after it happened, and gas prices spiked to $5 a gallon in some places, and people were lined up to fill their tanks? I do... Then they dropped, and slowly started to climb back to that price. You dumb shits will flock to anything as long as it is convenient, won’t you? In retrospect, do you think that perhaps the waters were being tested to see how much we would pay?”
Amen.
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The Water
A 16 oz bottle of water is anything from $0.50 to $1. A gallon of water, by the jug, is anything from $0.69 to $1.19. By the same mathematics the huge 5 gallon bottle of water I buy for my water cooler should be around $2, right? So why is it that I instead pay more than $6 then? I actually pay more for my big ass 5-gallon bottle of crappy cooler water than I do for five separate gallon jugs of a good brand name water. That makes no sense. How do I end up getting ripped off on fucking water?
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The Influence
Time Magazine has released the list of “the 100 men and women whose power, talent and moral example is transforming our world”.
Under “Artists” we find Reese Witherspoon, Daddy Yankee, Rachael Ray and George Clooney, but not the Rolling Stones who just recently turned China upside down and continue to rock even though they are 600 years old between the 5 of them, nor do we find Elton John on there, who continues to donate every single cent of his American CD sales to AIDS research.
Under “Heroes and Pioneers” we find Angelina Jolie, Al Gore and Wynston Marsalis, but not the Dead Rebel Society.
Under “Scientists and Thinkers” we have Lutheran judge John Jones who just matter-of-factly established that the far Christian right was talking out of its ass with the “Intelligent Design” plan to be taught in American schools, but we don’t see Stephen Hawking or Paul Davies, both advanced physicists and brilliant minds who have developed theories and layman explanations for all the mysteries of time, space and beyond – unveiling the Big Questions and dismantling superstitions and delusions of divine grandeur.
Under “Leaders and Revolutionaries who have the power to change the world” we have Hillary Clinton, but not Kim Jong-il with his nuclear sword of Damocles or Osama Bin laden who persists in haunting the free world with the ghost of destruction.
Sean Combs made the “Builders and Titans” list, whereas Donald Trump and Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson are both apparently too insignificant to qualify.
I was going to question the validity of this retarded list and say something along the lines of how in the hell these assholes are in any way shaping our world, but now that I think about it… that is the world people care about. The fluffy little bullshit world. The other stuff is just the motherfucking ugly truth that hurts too much to think about.
Idiots.
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