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Welcome to my utmost random thoughts on random shit that really doesn't matter much.
This is where my mind takes a dump.
~ Sticks, Stones and Funnybones ~
Part 21 - The UN
This weekend I am dedicating my whole Scissors to the recent events in Israel/Lebanon and my thoughts on the UN.
The UN - In the Line of Fire
Remember when I said that the recent wildfires of animosity between Israel and Palestine would be the spark to finally ignite the Middle East? Well, I am sure most of us said the same thing at some level, either out loud or sub-consciously, so I am not going to rub it in everybody’s faces that I am a socio-political genius.
First, this didn’t happen overnight – so for all you sleepers out there, wake the fuck up. These countries have been at it like cats and dogs since day one, no matter what fashionable terror organizations or political factions (Hamas, Hezbollah, al-Qaeda, Taliban, etc.) they currently point the finger at as they blow up a market place full with little kids.
Well, now the problem has indeed escalated, and not necessarily because Israel is shooting rockets at “Hezbollah targets” in Beirut (Lebanon), while hitting everybody and their mothers in the process. These two countries have always hated each other, even more so because of the Lebanese residency of anti-Israel terror organization Hezbollah, so the big fire danger here is not that they will be getting any more murderous with each other than before, but because of something the Israeli UN ambassador just said live on TV:
“We ask President Bush to get involved…”, and then later on in the same statement, “The Lebanese people are being held hostage by a terror organization, the Hezbollah, and need help to be liberated.”
See, smart man. He made it sound like the Lebanese people are being oppressed by a greater evil in their own country, an evil not beneficial to Israel – mind you. Kinda like how Saddam oppressed the Iraqis so we had to go there and “free” them. This is the new black in warfare these days. You don’t wage war against a country anymore, God forbid - how rude, no, you wage war against a political terrorist organization housed in that country instead, while “freeing” the shackled natives from tyranny. You drop the epithet “terrorist” into the mix, and all of a sudden you have a license to do whatever you want “in the name of freedom”. That would be like we’d be OK with North Korea bombing Los Angeles with nukes, because they heard there was an anti-Korean terrorist faction somewhere in Beverly Hills. Nothing personal against America; it’s just too bad that a city happened to be in the way. In the ancient book “Art of War”, Sun Tzu wrote: “Never wage war against a country as an invader – go in under the guise of a liberator, and get the winds blowing in your favor.” So true to this day. Anyway, Israel basically called for America to deploy “Operation: Lebanese Freedom” to settle things around the Israeli borders. The Israeli UN ambassador flat out called in a favor on international television, with the world as a witness.
This is the problem… We know Israel and America were always in bed together, politically and financially. We know that America made Israel sit on their hands during the Gulf War, even though they were being shot at with Scuds on a daily basis. Do you think that promise to not get involved came lightly? No, at that time America asked for a favor, and was granted that favor. Favors asked between allies and business partners, are usually granted at a price. And this is only the exchange of favors we, the people, know about. Who the hell knows what is “owed” already behind the scenes? Now Israel asked for a favor in return, making no bones about it being expected to be granted. They now leave it up to Bush to honor their ongoing shady agreements, at the risk of the wrath of the American population who is not about to send any more sons and daughters to die in a futile war, or for Bush to turn his back on his bedfellow’s request at the risk of getting the Blanket of Togetherness snatched away from the cozy bed. The State Department has already publicly announced that they “will not support a cease fire”, but what is that worth to Israel – other than just empty words to buy time so the US government can get some sort of game plan in order? I am afraid our government is going to have to do a whole lot of tap dancing in the corridors of power, to either stay out of this altogether, or come to full blows with the whole Arab world. Israel wants more than just a pat on the back this time.
This is bad.
This is what the UN is for. This is why we made an organ of United Nations to begin with after WWII; to strive to settle the differences between nations – peacefully, if possible, or with military force as a last resort.
The UN has turned a blind eye on every single conflict worth mentioning since the Cold War ended, except for a late cameo appearance in the civil war in Yugoslavia. Why? Because ever since the fall of the Iron Curtain the power hasn’t rested with UN – the benevolent body of nations – but with the UN Security Council, now that the Mexican standoff between East and West is over. Nothing will ever happen anywhere in the world unless it’s in the interest of a majority of the Security Council, now that Russia and America can act in the same interests, as long as mutual satisfaction is guaranteed – satisfaction of issues not related to the conflicts at hand, but rather of financial nature.
Who are we kidding? The UN has outlived its purpose and is now a shadow of a joke. If they had any power to wield, whatsoever, they would have been in the Middle East 20 years ago, seizing control of the whole damn area with an iron hand, disregarding the political storm winds it would cause, in the interest of World Peace. But that’s right… the UN made this bed by throwing Israel into the mix in 1948, so how can they now go against their own “creation”? What were they thinking? “Look at this snake pit of fuckheads! Let’s throw more snakes in and see what happens!” Just turn on the news now for some prime international comedy as the UN is holding an emergency meeting, where delegates from Lesotho and Venezuela can voice their opinion on shit they could care less about since it’s half a world away. Meanwhile, behind locked doors and with no public records to ever let us mere mortals in on the big hush-hush, the real power players – the Security Council – will decide the world’s future.
The United Nations is the worried old uncle of the World, once strong, good and true - and now a senile old frail grey ghost, rattling its chains, coughing up blood from the effort. What is the point with a host of nations that can’t solve tiny little problems, like the genocides in jungle countries like Rwanda and Sudan, and that just runs and hides behind the skirts of America when the shit really hits the fan? In theory - in clauses, treaties and constitutions signed by all member states – the UN has the power to do some serious business when the situation calls for it. The UN has the mandate to go in and be the aggressive peacekeeper between sides that either can’t seem to ever see eye to eye, or between sides that are too unevenly matched. Both scenarios apply to the recent conflict in the Middle East, but the UN is busy eating pie and dusting off the portraits of Gandhi in the Hall of Memories. When Israel calls for America to escalate the situation, and at the same time points accusingly at the UN for not disarming Lebanon way back, that is too serious of an issue for the UN to not respond resolutely to, before America does. At the same time the Lebanese Prime Minister begs the UN to please press for a Cease Fire as they are being hammered by the Israeli rockets. Likewise is this a serious enough request to pull the UN’s act together. Put the two widely opposing requests together and it’s a fucking crime to NOT get involved, right in the middle – not taking sides – but stemming the blood flow. And sending some tottering old emissary to mediate won’t help unless they also strap a nuke to his back, to end the conflict once and for all. The UN could exert poetic justice in the Ultimate Suicide Bomb duct taped to James Baker. How would that be for irony? Seriously, though... It’s obvious that something has to be done from the Outside World now, or this place will light up like the Rockefeller Plaza Christmas Tree. Now, do we want that to happen, or do we want a final peaceful solution (under pressure) to settle the score without bloodshed?
This is where the UN sinks or swims. It’s time to do or die. Walk the walk, not just talk the talk. This is where you call upon all the slumbering member nations to send at least 5,000 troops each – all in their little gay blue berets – and then take charge of the situation in the whole Middle East without taking any other side but that of the Little Man. Lock down the whole area with patrolling armies from Sweden, Switzerland, Japan, Honduras, or whoever, and fuck the Security Council and their hidden agendas. Most of all, fuck our government, too. The very worst thing they could do would be to get involved physically in this mess, even though they are dying to use this as an excuse to get to Iran. Can you hear the scratching of itchy trigger fingers inside the White House? Well, at ease, soldier. We don’t want to be in the middle of this shit. This is where we send the actual World Police – the UN – instead of America, the World Vigilante. We’ve been on the take for too long to be credible anymore.
The UN needs to go in, without the big players, and take back the invisible power they once held. Even though the hate will inevitably remain, so should whatever UN forces stationed in the area. Make Beirut a permanent UN Army Base from which battalions of Peace Corps are deployed throughout the Middle East indefinitely. If indeed Lebanon is being held hostage by terror organizations that should solve that problem, too. Money? Sure it’s going to cost money, but probably less than the upkeep of that big useless building on Dag Hammarskjold Plaza in the middle of New York City. Take it out in tax from the members, make them earn World Peace.
Cost for UN to keep parties off each other’s throats: A Godzillion dollars
Cost for member states to fund UN: Two Godzillion dollars
The illusion of World Peace: priceless?
