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Welcome to my utmost random thoughts on random shit that really doesn't matter much.
This is where my mind takes a dump.
~ Sticks, Stones and Funnybones ~
Part 24 - The Thwart
The Thwart
I was going to make the clever remark that it’s nice to see that the stern agents of Airport Security are so vigilant in relieving us of our dangerous and explosive fluids at the checkpoints, just to carelessly dump it all willy-nilly in a big bin right next to the hundreds of people still waiting on line. Unfortunately retired DRS writer Succ already beat me to it. Bitch.
Seriously, though… The recent arrests and subsequent termination of these terrorists’ plans to kill a few thousands by blowing planes up in mid-air, is worth a hundred Operation Iraqi Freedoms. Think of all the billions of dollars and thousands of lives we have lost by waging pointless wars in the Middle East, when the only way to protect a nation from acts of terror is by conducting quality and covert intelligence operations, like this by the Brits.
The very fact that these terrorists still were that close to carrying out another act of this magnitude only proves the point that the War on Terror, as thusly carried out in terms of military deployment, has been absolutely moot in point. After 5 years of bombing a bunch of donkey farmers into submission we are paying more for a gallon of gas than ever before, and the extremist Muslims hate us with a renewed passion. Another 9/11 is just around the corner despite all our massive deployments. That is the one thing we should learn from the recent turn of events.
The key to winning the war on terror is to understand what these people are all about. They are steeped in a deep hatred for all things American, rightly or wrongly so, and also adhering to extremist and fanatical beliefs that no bombs or reason will ever change. The only way to get to them is to pump more resources into our intelligence and less resources into pissing them off on their own home turf. By bombing their countries we won’t ever get to the real players, just the people they claim to be fighting for.
Why is this so fucking hard to understand? Because the American public is only so smart, and only understands what it can see with its own eyes. Bombs going off in Baghdad look so much better on live TV than covert things going on behind the scenes that we will never know about. Naturally our government knows this, and to win the next election they go to war to appease the public’s demand for instant gratification and revenge. It won them the last election – are we dumb enough to let it happen again? Are we really in this to win the war on terror, or are we in this just to cater to that redneck “kill the commie bastards” mentality we still seem to entertain, but that civilization and common sense have stomped out in most other countries?
This country is populated by a bunch of retarded children sometimes. In the absence of a strong leader, the people have to rise to the occasion and assume responsibility of the fate of the nation.
We can’t all be stupid, all at once.
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The Name-Calling
Speaking of this conflict. Anybody else having a hard time following the Muslim logic that we ourselves have partly created by being so damn PC? Let me give you an example…
We see statements like these:
“We are at war with Muslim fascists.” – Bush
“Muslim terrorists were arrested after a plan to blow up American planes was uncovered.” - Newsfeed
And the Arab community, world-wide, reacts with:
“That’s discrimination! Not all Muslims are terrorists or fascists!”
And then our newspapers, networks and radio stations apologize for their poor choice of words. Every other rant from supposedly free-thinking or controversial famous TV- and radio profiles in America start with, “I am not saying that all Arabs are terrorists, or that all Muslims hate America…”, and then they go on with some PC crap that we have a heard a million times.
We are so afraid to call a spade a spade, that we abridge our own freedom of speech to appease the very people we are supposedly at war with. Here’s a thought… If you’re not a Muslim fascist, we were obviously not talking to you, right? If you’re not an Arab fuckhead, then just have a big nice cup of sand and shut the hell up.
Meanwhile, we are commonly known as The Great Satan and our flag is burned by children in the streets of every little Tomato Town in the Arab deserts. The school curriculum in Saudi Arabia has established the use of educational material from which these quotes have been gathered:
“All Christians are swines, and it is not for people of the one true faith to ever befriend such a swine.” (3rd grade text book)
“Like we threw the infidels out of Jerusalem during the crusades, so shall we also throw the Jewish apes out of Israel today.” (7th grade text book)
How about we start apologizing when the Arab media does? It’s all sand-box politics anyway.
Most Arabs and Muslims are a bunch of fuckheads. This is religiously conditioned into their DNA by the very fanatical beliefs they are steeped in, and their leaders effectively manipulate that fact by keeping the people angry and stupid. You can quote me on that.
Come to think of it… This goes for most Americans too.
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The Goat
Paris Hilton bought a burial plot right next Marilyn Monroe in the Westwood Village Memorial Park for a “Billy Hilton”. Turns out that it’s for her goat. No, really. Paris Hilton’s pet goat, Billy, has been reserved a place of remembrance right next to one of the biggest icons that ever graced the silver screen.
Hey, as long as the world comes to its senses and grind the remains of Paris Hilton into dog food and serve it at the local pound when she dies, poetic justice will have been served in the end.
We should start a DRS death pool on Paris Hilton: What will kill her? Drugs? Rabies? Suicide by can opener? Spontaneous Brain Combustion? At this point I don’t care, as long as something does.
Hell, we could pool for a contract killer and put the world out of its misery.
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The Test
State High School Exit Exams are still going to be held at the end of the school year to determine whether a student receives his/her graduation diploma or not. A California court established this after senior students and their parents launched a law suit against the school system, pointing out that the test was discriminating against those with poor English.
Maybe those students shouldn’t graduate High School in the first place? Just a thought.
What’s next?
Let’s scrap the driving exams since they discriminate against infants and people in vegetative states.
We should eliminate drug tests in public offices since they discriminate against crack heads and heroin addicts.
All IQ tests are discriminating against stupid people. Be gone, you fascist measure of intelligence!
Hey, AIDS tests discriminate against Paris Hilton, and paternity tests discriminate against the three people in this world she didn’t sleep with!
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The Taste
Oliver Stone’s movie “World Trade Center” is getting rave reviews from critics and high ratings from viewers. It doesn’t change the fact that it is a movie capitalizing on an event that is no more than a 5-year wound in a lot of people’s hearts. I realize that is what America is all about – making money on what can be made money on – but where do we draw the line between “tasteless” and “tribute”? “Schindler’s List” was a great movie, too, but would we be cool with Hollywood throwing that in the face of the Jewish population only 5 years after the end of WWII, promoting it prime-time with all the bells and whistles and making sky-high riches from it? Of course not.
We are so quick to desensitize ourselves from the realities of life and death that we fully embrace an opportunity to make this whole tragic event into a silver screen fantasy, rather than dealing with the brutal truth of what really happened. It’s much easier seeing Nicholas Cage in the role of the fire-fighting hero, than thinking of what went through the minds of those fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters who desperately threw themselves out of 80th floor windows, burning like shooting stars all the way down to the pavement, bursting into only so much ground meat. Are we so fucking jaded and so fucking brainwashed that Hollywood can add an all-American hero soundtrack to any tragedy and make it into gold?
I doubt many New Yorkers will go see this movie.
There is a time and place for everything, and 9/11 is not entertainment.
Yet.
I can see a potential market in the Middle East, though.
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The Gov’
Talking about movie and politics… Porn star Mary Carey is going to give Arnold Schwarzenegger a run for his money in the next elections for governorship of California. She feels she has a lot to offer the working man and has adapted the slogan, “Finally a politician you want to get screwed by”. She went up against Arnold already in the last elections, but got her ass spanked with a wide margin. Now she has had some facial work done, got herself new boobs and has decided to maybe come off as more serious.
Only in good old America will one of the biggest states vote to be ruled by either a cum-gargling bimbo or a broken-Englished caveman. Then again, if your voters are mainly made up of ex-boyfriends of Paris Hilton and illegal Mexicans, there you have it. Wait, illegal Mexicans can’t vote! Mary Carey will win this in a mudslide victory! You heard it here first.
Hell, me and Jenna Jameson should run for presidency. I would vote for us in a heart beat.
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The World
Adjusting their numbers, due to an old slight error of calculation with Hubble’s constant, NASA scientists have now re-established the age of the universe to be approximately 15.8 billion years old and about 180 billion light years wide.
According to the Bible the universe is about 6,000 years old and the Earth is flat. Most people don’t believe that, but still take most of everything else in that book for gospel. Stone me ignorant.
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The Starchild
The State of Virginia is dragging the parents of 16-year old Starchild Abraham Cherrix to court, to wrestle partial custody from them due to medical neglect. The kid’s got cancer and refuses chemo therapy, favoring some Mexican herbal remedy instead. Social services claim the parents put this idea in his head and that they are putting their own child at risk, whereas the family claim Starchild came to this conclusion on its own.
The problem is that even though the state feels they can interfere on the behalf of the parents, they are also representing a state where 16 is old enough to work, drive, marry and face criminal charges in adult court.
C’mon, “Starchild”? Either this is the impossible spawn of Paul Stanley’s heterosexually challenged loins or the hippie equivalent of a crack baby; a pot baby. Let the kid roll up a few of those “Mexican Herbal Remedies” and puff away. Then arrest him on adult drug charges, put him in the slammer and give him the correct chemo therapy while incarcerated.
Why do I always have to solve everybody’s problems?
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