Welcome to my utmost random thoughts on random shit that really doesn't matter much.

This is where my mind takes a dump.

~ Sticks, Stones and Funnybones ~

Part 32 - The Test

The Test

So, North Korea performed a nuclear test this morning, by detonating an atomic bomb under some Korean mountain range. Of course, the rest of the world’s politicians and Joe Schmoes are standing up on their desks, calling for condemnation and sanctions.

Bush just went on TV, addressing the nation (and the world), telling us that our “allies” in the area are on the same page as us with sanctions and a committed “response”.

OK, what the hell will sanctions do? North Korea is a country that already cut all diplomatic ties with the rest of the world, years and years ago. There are no foreign embassies in that country, and neither do they participate in any diplomatic talks in the UN anymore. What is it that we, or anybody else, export to North Korea that we could “sanction” in the first place? They are perfectly self-sufficient in their humble little dictatorship. Hell, as long as the North Korean dictator Kim-Jong Il is eating, and has free cable porn, what the hell does he give a fuck if his people has shit? “Let them eat dirt,” as a modern Marie Antoinette would have said. If she was North Korean and married to the fuckhead in charge. (Which I doubt, since he seems a bit asexual, to say the least.)

David Albright said, in a CNN interview minutes ago, that he didn’t think North Korea would try to sell their technology or nuclear products on the black market to state-, or non-state, entities. Uh-huh… What would you do if you were a fuckhead country, under a lock and key trade embargo, needing to make an extra buck? And looky-looky... Here come some Muslim countries, waving fat money in your face, asking for some spare parts. You would turn them down, because you have such oustandingly high principles? Dream on, kids.

No, North Korea has been very smart throughout this. Compare their itinerary to that of Iraq's:

•Fuckhead dictator

•Oppressed people

•Weapons of mass destruction

•Outspoken disrespect and hatred for the west

•Unresponsive to international diplomacies

•Threat to world peace

Sure, both the same, but we can’t sanction these people into submission. We can’t just make a left turn from Afghanistan this time. We can’t just waltz in and smart-bomb a few tomato farms to win the day. North Korea has worked hard, since the Korean War - which solved pretty much nothing, to make themselves invulnerable to what the rest of the world says or does. This show of strength, with the nuclear test, was a last brick in the wall they are effectively building around themselves. They are not necessarily saying that they will fuck us up first, but that they have the means to wipe out Japan or South Korea, two of our biggest trading partners in the world, if they get attacked by anyone.

Smart.

Untouchable?

We’ll see. These guys kicked our ass in the 50’s. Now they are in an even stronger position to do so again, unless we wipe them out for good. And we can’t do that, can we? We can’t cry for the poor oppressed population, in bondage at the hands of a dictator, call it “Operation: North Korean Freedom” and then slag the whole country to a sheet of glass without looking inhumane. That is the problem with today’s warfare. It is “rude” to kill people.

“The oppressed impoverished people of North Korea deserve a brighter future,” Bush said in his address, in his slow hacked up manner.

Sure, we could make it brighter all right.

Brighter than a thousand suns.

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The Clue

Am I the only one who thinks that our representative in the UN, John R. Bolton, looks like Professor Plum in the Library with a Candlestick?

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The Fate

South Korean Foreign Minister, Ban Ki-Moon, was today nominated for a position on the UN Security Council. I already told you, but I’ll say it again. That is the true beginning of the end. Never mind Glenn Beck’s apocalyptic Middle East… it’s over there, in the Chinese Sea, that the fate of the world will be decided one day.

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The Censorship

The Danish Prime Minister strongly condemned a national party for showing derogatory images of Islam’s prophet Mohammed on their website. The Muslim World has already started to rattle their sabers again over the blasphemy.

I am getting a little sick of this. No, strike that. I am getting VERY fucking fed up with this. Since when do we ever let anybody infringe upon our Freedom of Speech and the Freedom of Press? Wouldn’t you consider that “negotiating with terrorists”? Something we, as Americans, pride ourselves in never doing? So why is it then that nobody over here dared printing those Mohammed comic strips? Why is it that Viacom shut down their own shows that were about to commit Islam blasphemy, on prime time television? Because we are also a bunch of scared fags. Outspoken and popular TV show hosts have “chosen” not to follow up on the controversial Mohammed imagery, because it is “wrong” to depict any religious idol, including Jesus, in a condescending manner. Please, give us Joe Schmoes some credit here.

At least Danish media is pushing the envelope, while we sit here quivering with fear, sucking our thumbs, as Muslim fuckheads wipe their asses with our Bill of Rights. What are you gonna do about it, kids?

I'll play.

Here to the right is This Week’s Mohammed Picture.

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The Amish

Speaking of Freedom of Speech and Press… Here is a delicate issue for you. The Westboro Baptist Church was planning to attend the funeral for the little Amish girls that were killed a week ago. That sounds compassionate and supportive, right? Not so. They were going there to disrupt the ceremony by chanting “Your girls were whores” and “Your little girls are burning in hell”, to gain some publicity for their fuckhead theories that God hates America because it is populated by homosexuals.

I don’t know about you, but I am of the sentiment that the Amish should be left alone. We co-exist under a sort of “we don’t bother you, so you don’t bother us” agreement, and it has worked for a very long time. They are a bunch of harmless old kooks who have chosen to live off the land. Fine. We should strive to not subject them to the fuckhedeadness of our hypocritical and media hyped society, especially in this time of their grief and mourning – courtesy of one of our precious sociopaths.

So, did the Governor of Pennsylvania call in the National Guard to keep these Baptists away from the funeral? No, he was sorry, but he couldn’t do that. According to the constitution we all have a right to peacefully demonstrate our opinions in public places. The Baptists had a right to execute their civil rights.

In the eleventh hour, a radio show host, Mike Gallagher, came up with a solution:

He told the Baptists that if they laid off the Amish, he would give them an hour on his show, to uninterruptedly broadcast their spiteful message. This would mean that the Amish would not be subjected to the messages, since they have no radios, and the rest of us could just choose to not tune in.

Great. He took the bullet for the Amish. Bravo, right?

But, no… Everybody from Limbaugh to Schnitt and Beck thought this was outrageous. How could we give in to these terrorists and sacrifice our principles like this? Beck even made this comparison, when polling his listeners: That would be like us giving Osama air time to broadcast his hate on national television.

Jesus Christ… Shut the fuck up and listen.

First of all, that is not a proper comparison. This would be: If Osama Bin laden was an American citizen, and threatened to attend the anniversary of 9/11, at Ground Zero, to spew his hateful agenda and call the victims “whores” and “sinners”, and a radio show offered him an hour to waive his constitutional right to picket, and instead take it to the air waves – would that be so bad?

Since when are our personal fucking principles more important than the grief of surviving families?

Get off your high fucking horses and sit your ass down on the ground.

An hour of air-time, or a public demonstration live on CNN, both come to the same thing: Publicity. If one of the forms will spare the Amish from further grief, then I am all for it.

Hell, join the discussion on our board HERE.

There is such a thing as common sense, too, and that should always supersede the words of long dead aristocrats. Never mind your fucking principles. You deal with them on your on.

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The Theory

Apparently, Lindsay Lohan and Keeanu Reeves are now a couple. Maybe this will be the final test to the theory of “two wrongs making a right”.

Britney and Fed-X are trying their damndest to dilute the gene pool with their off spring, hoping to make a new Einstein. Their kid did show promise by trying to commit suicide, throwing himself off a high chair half a year ago, when he realized who his parents were, but the child is not exactly shining with an inner glow of intelligence. Neither is the kid of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. She looks a bit dull.

I would expect a child born of the magnificent minds of Reeves and Lohan to be a new Messiah, at the very least. Maybe even the 12th Iman? The potential is almost as vast as the void between thos people's ears.

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The Turd

Speaking of which… The golden turd of the Cruise/Holmes baby is now being sold to the highest bidder on eBay. How the hell did anybody get hold of this, you may scratch your head and wonder?

An even bigger mystery: Why is the turd so goddamn big? It's fucking huge!

Then again… Her father is full of shit, so it would only stand to reason that the trait was hereditary.

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The Cop-Killer

Angilo Freeman was shot and killed after killing a police officer and his K9 dog in Florida a few days ago. The “suspect” was apprehended in a nearby forest after a 24 hour manhunt, and was “neutralized” on the scene.

Now Freeman’s mother wants to launch an investigation because of the excessive violence rendered upon her poor fucking son. Apparently he was shot 68 times.

68 times...

The local sheriff responded: “The only reason he was only shot 68 times, is because we ran out of bullets. That concludes our investigation.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

That’s the damn Quote of the Year, right there.

Fuck Freeman’s mother. She raised a cop killer.

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The Mails

I am not even going to go into the Mark Foley shit much. It is boring me already.

The guy fled to rehab to not have to answer any questions from the public, after dropping the "I was molested as a kid"-bomb. Amazing how people confuse apologies with excuses, anyway. Noticed that, kids? Nobody apologizes anymore. They all make excuses.

In the words of a better Foley, Axel Foley:

“Foul-Mouthed? Fuck you, man!”

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The Question

Does it constitute as pedophilia to solicit verbal sex from 16 year olds? Traci Lords was 16 when she made her porn flicks. Does it make you a pedophile to enjoy them? Is it the actual age or  under-developed bodies that determines the “-philia”? One you can’t tell sometimes, whereas the other one is clear as daylight.

Should the 17-year old quarterback who gets caught fondling the 16-year old cheerleader be stuck in the same registry as the creepy guy in the dented van who raped a 7-year old girl?

Maybe we’ll make this the Discussion of the Week.

Traci lord is the ultimate hypocrite, by the way. She has totally disowned her past, mentioning it in two pages only in her auto-biography… but she still has no problems whatsoever to still operate under the infamous name that made the "horrible" money shots.

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The Duh

Speaking of hypocrites… Madonna was in Malawi the other day, “making a difference”. What did she do? She handed out copies of her book “The English Rose” to the children at a local orphanage.

Hmmm… What could be less useful to an illiterate African child, than a book written in English by an American pop-queen…

Hmmm… I know, I know! A cross burning in the front yard of the orphanage.

Idiot.

At least Angelina and Brad have adopted 0.00000000000000001 % of the African population. That kid is hooked up like a motherfucker.

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