 | ||||||
| ||||||
Welcome to my utmost random thoughts on random shit that really doesn't matter much.
Behold the glory of my mind takinga dump.
~ Sticks, Stones and Funnybones ~
Part 33 - The Plea
The Plea
Having grown up in a different judicial system than the American, I am often flabbergasted by some ins and outs of the legal world over here. I think one of the things that astound me the most are the plea bargain deals that guilty criminals can make to all of a sudden become “less guilty” - as long as they sign a full confession to said crimes.
Stuff like that is what mysteries are made of to a Swede such as I.
The reason I am saying this today, is because just recently Joseph E. Duncan III was able to cut a deal with the prosecutor, ensuring that he got off the death penalty that was looming over his head. Instead he got three consecutive life sentences.
Do you want to know what he did?
He followed a family of five around for several days, learning their habits, spying on them with night goggles and shit. Then he broke into their house early one morning, clubbed the two parents and the older brother to death with a hammer, and kidnapped the two youngest children; a boy and a girl; 8 and 9 years old. Then he proceeded to transport the tiny frightened little neo-orphans to a camp site, where he raped them for weeks on end. Finally, after having killed the little boy, he was caught in a diner with the girl.
You tell me.
Why did we need to cut a deal here?
If anybody ever deserved the death penalty it would be this fuck.
Look at that shit again:
He cold-bloodedly killed three people in order to kidnap two little children to rape for weeks on end, planning to kill both of them when he was done – but only offing one. Apparently he was still hungry for some "5 year old pussy". Disgusting bastard.
I want to know why there was even an offer on the table.
This is the state against the fuckhead.
There is no need for an actual plaintiff, or the inane concerns of surviving relatives.
Apparently the prosecutors wanted to spare the little girl from testifying, something the creep’s attorney insisted on if they went ahead with the charges, knowing the state side wouldn’t call the bluff.
This pisses me off so much. That kid is fucked up for life anyway. You can only break shit once. Put her on that stand, so she can at least, later in life, have the satisfaction of knowing that the fucking bastard that ruined her life is dead and processed into pig food. Instead she is going to grow up without a family, hitting her disturbed teens without a safety net, grow up and one day die, with that fuck still sitting, alive and well, in a cell somewhere a few hundred miles away, eating pie at her expense.
Seriously… America has the most fucked up justice system in the world, and I will cover some of this in an upcoming article.
Fuck these plea deals. EIther you're guilty, or you're not. You can't be just a little guilty, especially since you are fully confessing to the crimes to get the deal in the first place. Makes no sense to me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Population
Speaking of fucked up. Tuesday morning good old USA will hit the 300,000,000 population mark. We are a poor ass broken down nation, with our civil rights slowly being stripped away from us. What are we, fucking China now?
300 million people.
And not a single one of those motherfuckers wants to work anymore – except for the illegal immigrants working for $2/hour all over the place. We will have illegal immigrants on Wall Street, raking in just about $400 a month, while unemployed Harvard graduates are moving to Mexico to get a lawn mowing job.
And since we will have no Social Security left in ten years, depleted by the Powers That Be, we will all just have to frivolously sue each other from rags to riches, falling down in stores and throwing ourselves in front of Cadillacs in good neighborhoods.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Disney Porn
A video of Disney employees, simulating hardcore sex while dressed up in those annoying huge headed character costumes, is circulating on the internet. Of course Disney Inc. is upset as all hell, and of course nobody gives a shadow of a fuck. But it got me thinking...
The hottest cartoon chicks ever:
1. Jasmine (Aladdin) - You know how some couples have some sort of "Allowed List", with movie stars that they would be allowed to fuck, should the opportunity ever arise? Well, Jasmine is the only one my wife lets me have on there. That’s fine. I fucking love that chick. One day…
2. Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit) – Seriously. If you are male and don’t get a boner when she jazzes across the screen, you are not normal. Or something. Eh, you can stop looking at me like that now. Seriously.
OK, so I only have two. That makes me at least a little less insane than you, you perv.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Reality Check
Speaking of animated stuff…
I mentioned in an earlier Scissors that my 11-year old daughter is getting into Anime. Have you ever watched this crap? The stuff we allow her to see, the PG-rated stuff, is all loaded with romance: All these big-eyed guys heroically embracing the female characters, protecting them from evil and just holding them while the girls make little cooing noises.
This is what my kid thinks teen relationships are like. Asexual responsible young men, big-brotherly cradling their young girlfriends’ tender hearts.
Yeah, right…
See, I think if she watched real hardcore porn instead, she would be better equipped to know what to expect from the average teenage boy’s mind, once she is allowed to start dating. Which will never happen, anyway - neither dating, nor porn - so I don’t even know why I am writing this.
She can have her own life back after college. I am not that much of a controlling parent.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The NeoPets
But sometimes you have to control your kids. Do you know what Neo Pets is? Of course not, because either you don’t have kids, or your kids are sneaky little fucks who never clued you in on this new pedophile breeding ground to begin with.
Neo Pets is, supposedly, a huge ass internet portal, where kids from all over the world create their very own little “Neo Pet”; a cuddly little animated snuggle-animal, that they then feed and take care of – sometimes entering into silly competitions against other childrens' Neo Pets. Sounds harmless, right? Yeah, that’s what we thought. The account these kids have also include a “Neo Mail” feature, and gives them access to the Neo Pets message boards. Who do you think cruise the boards where millions of little kids innocently play all day long? Yeah, that’s right... All the creeps in the sexual offender registry, and all the rest of them that weren't caught yet.
We have talked, again and again, to our daughter about the dangers of the internet; how she is not allowed to ever (ever) tell anybody her name or any other personal information - not even if these Neo Pet friends pose as other little kids.
Turns out she has been emailing with two boys, behind our backs, for three weeks now. I cracked open her account, as I do every once in a while, and found a new folder in her email account I hadn’t seen before, titled “Romance Letters”. These letters were from “13-year old boys”, using words no 13-year old boy could ever find with a dictionary and a flash light, and my daughter was treasuring these letters like they were fucking gold.
First of all, she was never allowed to ever email anybody but her two classmates in the first place, and second of all, she had hidden the mails from us in that “secret” folder. In these mails she had stupidly and naively alluded to what school she went to, and since she had named one of her goddamn Neo Pets after herself, it wouldn’t really be too hard for some pedophile fuck to figure out who and where she was.
So, how do we solve this problem?
I dug up two really horrible pics of sexual offenders in the local registry – two real disgusting looking bastards – and showed them to her, informing her that those were the two “little boys” she had a crush on. She cried hysterically for an hour and then I grounded her for a week without TV, comp or any other sources of entertainment other than reading.
I know… You think I am cruel. Fuck that shit. Scare those little snots straight. I could never afford to take any risks with my kid these days, because that is what they are… risks… not chances.
Could you?
Of course you could, because you are, after all, an idiot - or from Florida.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Business
Paul McCartney recently handed in an application to the Trade Registry to trademark and register his name, McCartney, as a copyrighted entity, protected under commercial law. This means he can cash in on anybody ever using his name in relation to anything, and also ensuring whole new product lines with umbrellas, guitars and eyebrow pincers to operate in peace and quiet.
Have you guys noticed that he changed the established composer epithet “Lennon/McCartney” to “McCartney/Lennon” on all old Beatles songs when referring to them in booklets and other musical endeavors?
As soon as Ringo dies, there will be another re-issued & re-mastered back catalogue from that classic band, now aptly re-named, Paul McCartney & The Beatles.
This guy is outta control.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Wife
My wife scared the shit out of me last night. I couldn’t sleep for some reason, so I just lied there, tossing and turning, debating with my multiple personalities whether I should call it a night and just get up. And all of a sudden, out of the darkness of the night, my wife sits up in bed next to me, wild-eyed and crazy-looking, screaming her head off, like some fucking wolf in a Jack London story. I almost fell off the bed, and since my heart shot up my throat I can now report that a human heart tastes a little like liver.
Anyway, she had had a nightmare – a nightmare like she had never had before, and it took quite some time for her to go back to sleep. She was absolutely terrified. You know how you sometimes can see what adult people looked like when they were kids? In that moment my wife was just a scared little girl, and I melted for her. I stayed awake all night next to her, making sure she slept safely throughout the rest of the endless hours before dawn.
To tell you the truth, I didn’t mind one bit. There is something about the sound of my wife’s soft breathing when she sleeps that just makes me immensely peaceful and happy. There is nothing prettier on this Earth than my wife cuddling a pillow.
I ended up finishing a book and studying the random sleep patterns of our two dogs. It’s like they are playing musical chairs with sleep spots on our bed, changing around every 20 minutes or so. I think they are trying to maneuver me out of their way, as I find myself waking up closer to the edge of the bed every morning lately.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Cub
I have a secret. If you promise to keep it to your fucking self I will tell you, or I swear to come after you like a melon baller at an eyeball convention.
Like some sort of gay and slightly obsessive psycho, I keep constant check on that new born panda bear cub in the Atlanta Zoo:
It's on my desk top 24-7. I am addicted. If that fucking thing dies, pre-maturely, I think we should nuke China.
Or something.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
