Too Independent
So here at DRS all us staff writers – such as we are – have been asked to write a piece on Independence Day and what it means to us. Aside from being the title of a song that Sean Hannity plays incessantly during his horrid radio show, Independence Day has nothing but positive connotations for me. On a political level, which is supposed to represent my ostensible area of expertise, Independence Day heralds the birth of what I still consider to be the greatest country in the history of the world – the one I just happen to live in, of course. On a social level, it means a day off from work for all of our tired and overworked citizens, which of course always rocks. But I think Independence Day finds its greatest resonance for me on a personal level, because of all the attributes one can seek in this life – fame, fortune, peace of mind, security – independence has always been my most treasured asset.
Many years ago, a frustrated boyfriend inadvertently paid me the greatest compliment I’ve ever received from a man. This is kind of ironic, because he was in the process of dumping my ass at the time. He said, "I just don’t see a future with you, Nona, because I need a woman who’s always going to be there for me, and kind of live my dream out with me and be in my corner, and you are just TOO INDEPENDENT to be that woman."
Too independent. Now, if somebody’s going to dump you, isn’t that just the coolest reason they could pick to dump you? The dude didn’t want me because I take care of myself too well, don’t need him enough, and am far happier than any person should be in my own company.
Right now I have a friend who is in the final stages of cancer. She’s been battling it since 2000, and has managed to kick cancer’s ass three times, but this time basically looks like it’s the end. If you were to ask her what the worst thing about having terminal cancer is, you might expect for her to tell you it’s reconciling oneself with one’s impending demise, or being in too much pain to manage, or worrying about what’s going to happen to her family when she’s gone. But for her the worst part of cancer is none of these things – it’s losing her ability to look after herself. It’s being dependent, after a lifetime of telling the rest of the world to go fuck itself. And I don’t know about you, but I totally understand this. Independence is something every person should be able to experience in life. It is exhilarating and scary and liberating and difficult all at once, and it is the greatest sin and the greatest sacrament life has to offer. Fuck love, security, and happiness. Give me liberty any old day.
