Jogging With a Spoon - 8
featuring The Weekly Zombie Report
Sorry I am late with this update, but shit has been going down. Nothing you, dear readers, should be concerned about.
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Well, it was Thanksgiving last week, and I did not get to feed a homeless man to another homeless person. Shame, really. Oh, well, there is always X-mas. Which brings me to something... How is X-mas taking the Christ out of Christmas? Are people so fucking stupid that they don’t know that X is Chi in Greek? Fuck it… it’s not my place to educate people.
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Speaking of Christmas, I am sure some of you fine readers are in the retail business. Isn’t Black Friday fantastic? I have the fortune of NOT working a job folding shirts or having to deal with asshole rich people demanding crap at 5 in the morning. My hat goes off to you folks who deal with that.
That being said, I had to drop off my sister at work on Black Friday. It took me exactly one hour to get out of the parking lot. ONE FUCKING HOUR! Goddamn, people. The shit that you want to buy will be back sometime within the week! Is it so imperative that you save $40 on your total purchase that you will drive like a maniac over grass and sidewalks just to get that crap for little Timmy? Is it so fucking important to get a PS3 that doesn’t even have any games or accessories worth mentioning out yet, and that will break down with no chance of a replacement system for another six months? If it is, I want to punch you in the face.
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God, I hate Turkey. The bird and the country.
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There hasn’t been much that has happened that is noteworthy, except maybe the sniper that was making news here in my town. Obviously it wasn’t me… this time. No, my methods are more subtle and relaxed than taking to a rooftop and unloading a .30-.30 on all the sheep walking around.
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I finally saw “Superman Returns”. IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!! AWESOME, I SAY! Now, I am a Batman fan, but Superman comes in on a solid 7 on my top 10. I know a good Superman story when I see one, and this one was fucking good. From a cinematographical point of view, I would say that it captured that old film feel with a new flair. The background and the FX made it seem like it could be timeless. The story is a solid as a piece of pine wood. Anyone who has seen it will know what I am talking about. But I am not going to ruin the ending. Be thankful.
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The Weekly Zombie Report
MINNEAPOLIS (AP) - A group of zombies have risen up to claim the city of Minneapolis and Hennepin County violated their free rights and discriminated against them.
The six adults and one juvenile who were arrested while impersonating the undead in July filed their lawsuit Thursday.
The rest of the story can be found at this link:
What’s wrong with people? Why would they want to act like the Undead? Remember that they are not cannibals in the true sense, because they don’t eat their own kind. They are not human. And I have never heard of a Ghoul eating another Ghoul.
This is a frightening story, but I would be repeating myself if I said that Zombies can’t think... I just did, actually. So never mind.
These kids say that it was a symbol of some sort, and that may very well be true, but they should leave the pretending to be Ghouls-part to the film makers and actors. Pulling stunts like that could get them killed around the right people.
Well, a small update on the typhoid outbreak: It seems it is now mutating like AIDS! Check it out:
I have nothing to say, I am too shocked at the moment. Fuck, just read the article and go through everything you know about an outbreak. It will help.
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Carman, out.
