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Viagra for Women
Have you tried it? No, of course you haven’t. That’s because it does not exist. Why not? Statistics show that something like 45% of women have sexual problems. I’m thinking it’s more like 58%. I account for my increased percentage with the dawning realization by women in the 20-25 year old age group that you cannot equate quality with quantity. Then I add to that the women who answered these stupid surveys either in front of their men, and therefore were, of course, saying things like, “He always makes me cum. Every night with him is like a dream come true.” BULLSHIT. Add to that the women who answered the surveys in front of other women and didn’t want their friends to know that they are duds in bed. And finally you add to all of this the women who simply write the whole sex thing off. I know women who just grin and bear it. Their reasoning? How much can you listen to your guy cry, bitch and moan and then, eventually, turn around to accuse you of being frigid? Anyway, lets say 58% of women are so unhappy with their sex lives in comparison to, hmmm, 30% of men who have sexual problems.
So, why is there no women’s Viagra?
Because we are too complicated. That’s why. We probably could have stopped world starvation and granted free medical insurance to just about everybody with the money that has been spent helping Harry get his 5” softie hard. Oh, please.
The biggest sexual complaint by women is:
Not enough foreplay.
The biggest complaint from men:
She complains or nags too much.
Newsflash, guys. Saying to you “Ummm, could you move your hand over?” is not a complaint; it’s probably a plea for mercy.
So what do we as women do? Forget about help from the scientific industry. Forget about all those self help books. Forget about all of the “you have to get to know yourself” advice. You want a FANTASTIC sex life? I can give it to you. You want our Viagra? I will give it to you.
It’s called “The Younger Man”, or, as I like to refer to them, “Walking Hard-Ons”.
Ok, you are now either in your 30’s or 40’s. Been there, done that. You are disillusioned. You have your career right on track and your friends kick major ass. The only problem is in the romance and sex department. Here is what you do:
First of all, dump that old windbag you are carrying around. Chances are he is eyeing younger women anyway. Younger women are better for Mr. Fuddy Duddy because chances are that she is not all up in disappointment’s face over the fact that Mr. Wonderful couldn’t get a bottle cap off, much less you.
Cut his ass loose.
Next, make sure your confidence level is up. And I mean through the roof. We have all seen it time and time again: There could be 5 of the hottest women in the world in a room, and in walks an average everyday pretty woman, but with confidence through the roof. The men will flock to her in a second. Because she has “it”. Don’t ever underestimate the “it” factor. And they think they have a shot in hell. Once you have “it” then you may begin your shopping.
By all means be choosey. Because he is younger than you, chances are he’s going to be around a while, so make sure he actually has a brain. And can make you laugh without the fart jokes. I happened to have found mine online. But I strongly DO NOT RECOMMEND IT.
Once you have your future prey all picked out, you then have to play with him until he thinks you are a Goddess. Talk to him about real life stuff. Don’t giggle. And use the sexuality that by now you have developed into an art form. That’s one thing us thirty something’s have that the younger twenty something’s don’t. We know how to use “It” to our best advantage.
Now once he thinks you are the best thing since bottled beer, (and don’t start changing things, like him serving you a Jell-O shot instead of wine for dinner until much later) you can open up the adult world to him. Nice restaurants, great seats at the best concerts.
By the time you have done all of the above, your little Walking Hard On will be yours for life. Now comes the pay off:
Sex with a younger man.
A younger man, until he gets a firm grip on sex with you, will always let you call the shots. The one thing all men have in common is a morbid fear of looking foolish. So while the ex would fumble around checking for wetness before he shoves it in, all you have to do is cock an eyebrow at the younger guy and he slows the hell down. And then YOU get to TRAIN HIM in the way it’s supposed to be. Now, I’m not going to tell you how to do that because we all like different things. But train him and train him well.
After a few months, either move on to a new one or, as in my case, keep him. It takes time, patience and a lot of hard work. But damn it is worth it.
I have had them all. Younger men win every time. You figure it out. Bad sex two to three times a week, if you’re lucky. Or a neverending hard on with tongue and hand talents.
And if you’re really slick, you can get him to do all those household chores that you hate.
TTR
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