Let's face it. All the good albums have already been released, a long time ago, and you were not even there to crack out on them the first time around.

In here OD shares with you the very best of the hard rock and metal classics.

Slayer - Reign in Blood

Hey, fucknuts, do you know what day it is today? It's 66motherfucking6, so in honor of that I have dug out my copy of Reign In Blood (not that it was buried that deep) for a retro review. No band ever kicked my ass back when I was a wee nard like Slayer did. Motley Crue may have Shouted At The Devil, but Slayer was the motherfucking Devil. Evil creepy looking album art, songs about anger, death, gore and of course, Satan. What else could an angry anti-social teen like me want in those days? Not a goddamn thing. Let’s get this show on the road (to Hell).

Angel of deeeeeeaaaaatthhhhhhhh! Fuck yeah! If this isn't one of the most brutal songs ever recorded in the history of metal, then stick a pitchfork up my ass right now. It's a fucking song about Josef Mengele and Auschwitz-Birkenau. You just don't get much more brutal than the Holocaust, and Slayer were not afraid to touch that fucker with brutal honesty. This is the longest song on the whole album, so if you suffer from ADD you can put your Ritalin away. You won't be needing it anymore.

There's only one way out of here... PIECE BY PIECE!  This song makes me want to maim and kill. A big, meaty grooving  riff (remember those?) kicks it off and then it's full speed ahead, and damn the torpedoes. Cannibalism is such a nice subject, yes? What are you looking at? This is my goddamn review and I think this song is about cannibalism. Fuck off. Oh yeah, there are no solos in this ditty. Kind of odd for a Slayer tune.

“Necrophobic, Can't control the paranoia, Scared to die.” This song brings back a hilarious memory: My teen buddy, Billy, was with me the day I bought this on cassette. We get to my house and start checking it out. He is reading the song titles off as I am putting it in my cheap ass boom box. As the opening of Angel Of Death promptly kicks my fucking teeth in, I hear Billy say, "Dude, they have a song about fucking dead people." At which I reply, "No way, man. What is the title?" I wasn't ready for his reply of "Necrophobic." I tried not to laugh. Honest, I really tried. I then explained that necrophobic meant having an unreasonable fear of death or corpses, and that necrophilia was wanting to actually fuck dead people. Where was The Necro Pope when I needed him to explain all this? (Pax Vomitus in Coitus Morbidus – The Necro Pope) Although, I think truthfully we are all a bit necrophobic. Death kinda sucks, you know. Oh, shit, the song... right… It kicks severe amounts of ass and is the shortest song on the album at just over one and a half minute long. Kerry’s and Jeff’s trem abuse is sheer delight here.

"Enter to the realm of Satan"! To a 14 year old snot, this was quite possibly the most evil song in all of metal. Altar Of Sacrifice features a wicked ass motherfucking groove, and plenty more of that trem abuse. Jeff and Kerry would be lost on their guitars without their Kahlers, and their trem abuse is part of their everlasting charm for me. If you are looking for theoretically correct solos you are looking in the wrong place. This tune runs directly into...

… Jesus Saves, motherfucker - there is no need to pray. Dig the groove that opens this song and lose yourself in it. Rather than just smash your filthy face in by just abruptly hitting the uber fast verse riffs, Slayer eases into it. Sort of. Now for those of you who are unfamiliar with this master piece this song is not Pro-Christ. It is a scathing commentary on the state of the Church as it exists in these times.

“Night will come and I will follow...” Once again it's all about the groove at the start of this song, Dave shines on his cymbal work here. You would have to be Criminally Insane to not recognize the greatness of this groove. The subject matter is a condemned killer. Tom spits out the lyrics in a most convincing fashion. I could see that crazy fucker sitting in a prison cell singing these words.

“Leave you ripped and torn.” No groove here as Slayer boils out of the gate, full bore, on this tune. Reborn is a song of a witch who is to be burned at the stake and is not afraid to die, due to an incantation and a prophecy. A spooky vibe permeates this song despite its breakneck speed.

“Years will pass before it can be cuuuurrrrrrrrred,” Tom screams at the end of this song, and the howl is straight from the bowels of hell. Epidemic is the odd duck on Reign In Blood as far as I am concerned. The riffs are just not memorable. I am down with the subject matter, dealing with some kind of disease that is killing everyone, though.

I love this song, Postmortem, so much I ain't even going to write about it. Listen to it yourselves, assholes, and bow down to its greatness. Fuck you and your mothers, even if they are dying or dead.

Shhhhhh... Can you hear that? That is the sound of Raining Blood. This song laid the groundwork for the next two Slayer releases; South Of Heaven and Seasons In The Abyss. It grooves, it slams and it fucking pummels you into submission. Kerry’s and Jeffs' tone on this song is what all metal bands should aspire to have. No more needs to be said about this song.

In Slayer’s quest to be one of the most brutal and heavy bands ever, they have relied on speed, lyrics, and some atonal-as-fuck riffs and leads. What gets lost in the shuffle, and that I very rarely see them praised for, is their ability to hit a groove that just absolutely destroys everything in its path. This album shows off that ability to perfection. Go suck Satan’s cock if you think otherwise.

Reign In Blood, South Of Heaven, and Seasons In The Abyss are the Unholy Trinity of Metal.  Yes, we all know that the evil and the Satanism is just a gimmick, but name one band who has done it as well, and as consistently, as Slayer. Venom has taken extended breaks so you can't really put them at the level Slayer is at. Slayer has flirted with mainstream success, and some would even argue that they are mainstream today. Besides all the faux evilness, Slayer mixes in the odd song with social or political leanings (see stuff like Hollowed Point), something Venom doesn't really do.

I still spin the Unholy Trinity of Metal pretty regularly, and Reign In Blood never fails to leave me in awe of its brutality. Nobody can call themselves a Metal Head if this CD isn't part of their collection.

Slayer is the only band I will be listening to today, I suggest you do the same.

\m/_(>.<)_\m/

OD

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