Truth and Consequences…
So I was talking to my friend Coast to Coast AM and she was monologuing about her job and somehow or another the subject got around to ‘The Truth” and how important she thought “The Truth” was...” Truth will set you free”... “We want honesty... honesty is the most important thing”.. Preach sista... Except I don’t believe that…I mean I don’t advocate wholesale pathological lying but I think “the Truth” might be a little overrated and detrimental in the great scheme of things…
I am a Sagittarius and have a good many of the typical Sagittarian personality traits... that is to say I suffer from terminal foot in mouth disease. I am blunt... and ‘blunt’ in this case is a misleading adjective for the sometimes unfortunate things that fly out of my mouth with an ambition all of their own.. ‘The Truth” will not set you free… in many cases it will get you slapped, your hair pulled, folks mad at you, folks laughing at you, locked up, prank phone called and various and other assorted instances of sheer motherfuckery..
Sometimes people will even ask you things that they don’t even want an answer to, much less a truthful one... Case in point… Women do not ask questions like this old chestnut “do these pants make my ass look fat” because they want the truth.. Hell, we don’t even want an answer... and men keep falling for it... Strangers in bathrooms, especially women’s bathrooms do not ask the questions they ask wanting a truthful answer... We all have been victims of some woman in the bathroom of a club who catches us at the sink and asks us a question like “does my hair look okay” or the ubiquitous “do these pants make my ass look fat” or “do you have any blow” etc. etc... These are not questions that should be truthfully answered a good bit of the time... The women that need to ask strange women in bathrooms about a hairdo usually already know the answer to that particular query and if they genuinely don’t know, there is no way anything you say will penetrate that aqua-netted oblivion anyway… and if the question is “do you have blow” and you actually do… you sure as hell don’t want to tell the truth about that one..
When people ask these type of questions... if you get lucky and the truth is favorable by all means set your ass free... if not… maybe politeness is more important than truthfulness... I have been asked the dreaded “do you still love me” question by a couple people before and overall I knew I did… only at the moment they asked… if I had been strictly truthful, my answer would not have edified the situation.. If your lover asked you if you fantasized about other people while you are having sex with him are you really going to tell him “yeah” and ask if he minds being called “Antonio” for the next 10 or 15 minutes depending… I doubt even Viagra could overcome some truth like that…
Some people I don’t bother telling the truth to and try to avoid telling them the truth every chance I get... It is not my job to shatter some illusions and if I ever ask my sweetiepah about my pants insulting my normally skinny ass… He can lie to me, I don’t mind…
People don’t care about the truth, most of the time they really do want to hear what they want to hear…and that is “The Truth”… besides most people will believe a lie over the truth 6 days a week out of 7 anyway…
In Absinthe Veritas,
Tallulah Crankhead
