Between The Buried And Me
"Alaska"
Rating:
Reviewed by:
Beppo Blitzkrieg
Hey, I know these guys! I have all their shit. Most people think they are just another Prefix Core band, but hell no... See, these guys are MOTHERFUCKING METAL, not just some mindless Headbanger’s Ball mall core punk ass losers. No, Between the Buried and Me might have the stupidest fucking name in the world of music, but they have skills! They can play, and they want you to fucking KNOW it too!
Right off the bat I’m blown away. “All Bodies” has that cool thrash stomp to it, but since the fucking guitars are all pop chords, and played over Black Metal blast beats, it sounds so fucking weird and right at the same time. The guy singing is nothing special. Same shit as all the other guys: Growl, growl, some clean shit, growl-motherfucking scream, growl, clean shit. Whatever. Somebody needs to beat these fucking core singers ass with a clue-stick. I have heard it ALL before. Promise. No shit. Anyway, the song’s mid section is a motherfucking study in utter musical carnage, just going nuts with arpeggiating crazy ass guitars and some serious beats. Kinda like "Mars Volta Goes Metal On Motherfucking Acid", coming to your town soon (beats Disney On Ice)! Only good instead… Or maybe "Meshuggah - The Love Songs"? Wait. The ending here is another song altogether, right? Did I miss track two? No, it’s still track one. Awesome! Motherfucker! This is great. Seamlessly they faked me out and changed the song within the song until I was lost. But in a good way. I like being lost. Gets my freak on.
The title track, “Alaska” (pay attention), starts off with insane arpeggios! Remember when it wasn’t taboo to play solos and shit? Back in the day when Mike Varney’s neo-poodles ruled the world? You couldn’t listen to a power ballad without getting a ripping guitar solo stuck up your ass. Then Cobain cried everybody a fucking mudslide and all good guitarplayers were deported to motherfucking Pluto or something. This band doesn’t care. Frantic guitar solos… One after a-fucking-other. The song is all right. Nothing to write home about. Sounds like System of a Down goes Black Metal at times. But without the crazy terrorist jihad looking Arab singer and with sweeter melodies. This whole theme carries into the next song, “Croakies and Boatshoes”, which, I am fucking sure, has some funny lyrics I couldn’t make out with the Alta Vista Babelfish and a bottle of Scotch. I’ll just make up my own and cartwheel across the floor like a fucking lunatic. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Hey! What the fuck? This is amazing! “Selkies” is a kick ass tune! These guys can PLAY! Did I say that already? So take my word for it already. More pop influenced than the other tracks, and with a “Damnation”-sounding Opeth rip-off in the middle, but still HEAVY AS FUCK! So fucking cool. Lulled me to fucking la la land with those soft guitars and strings and shit, only to kick my ass awake, halfway through, as they haul ass into hyper space.
The rest of the album follows suit! I love it when an album doesn’t get all watered down and shit as you reach track 5. These motherfuckers at the labels know all of us have ADD, so they purposely put all the boring crap on a CD after track 4. (I MISS MY MOTHERFUCKING VINYLS! You had to get up and change that motherfucker when “Side A” was over. You were a part of the listening experience!) Well, here they keep the good shit going throughout the whole CD! Some half-duds, like “Roboturner”, don’t really do much for me, but highlights like “Backwards Marathon” (again with the Opeth pop jazz weirdo shit) hit it right the fuck home and across the river. Three instrumentals, so the singer can go take a serious piss in the meantime, and a superb crazy ass Watchtower/Scatterbrain (remember those great motherfucking bands?) sounding off beat math metal track round out this really cool album. One of the instrumentals, the closing song – “Laser Speed”, is a fucking slow motion bossanova! The nerve! I fucking love it.
These guys have big hairy fucking BALLS! I would definitely recommend this fucker to anybody who wasn’t a flaming fag and knows how to appreciate actual PLAYING!
Motherfucking LOVED it!
Artwork used with permission from Neverland Music Inc.
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