I’m a happy camper

I’m the happiest son of a bitch I know.

People who say

that “Life sucks!“

are just starving for attention anyway.

When life finally decides to fuck you over,

(and it happens to the best of them -

in fact, it usually happens to the good ones first),

chances are, crying like a bitch

won’t be your first priority.

But,

depending on your mood,

life can display its fair share of suckage

simply by allowing your old lady to bitch at you after breaking a nail or,

on a smaller scale,

affording her the opportunity to

get run over by a guy,

just as drunk as you,

angry at his own woman at home,

who probably just broke a nail herself.

God knows I am guilty of that, too.

And I’m just talking about complaining about

my oh so hard life,

not running over random people for kicks.

That would take a car first.

And ambition.

While I’m lacking both;

and I can’t even say I miss that ballast.

But before I stoop to that level,

let me clarify that it’s not my life that sucks...

it’s just yours that makes me miserable.

The world would fucking rule

without all of you jackasses

whose sole purpose in life seems to be

nothing more than

being annoying,

being importunate,

being foolish,

being just plain dull,

being a pain in the ass in any other way,

or just being alive...

It fucking sucks,

indeed.

Yet right now

I’m as happy as one

(miserable whiny bitch)

can get.