Dead Rebel Of The Week
~ Ziggy Stardust ~
He came, he saw, he conquered. No, not Julius Caesar… Ziggy Stardust - THE greatest rock star to ever grace Planet Earth. For that is exactly what he did. This Martian Spider graced Earth with his presence, descending upon our starving musical climate like an angel of fire breathing motherfuckery and spectacular fantabulousness.
Let’s start from the beginning… Ziggy was born inside the head of earthling David Bowie and was raised in self-importance and arrogance on the planet Mars right up until his messianic journey to our blue planet - originally to spread the gospel of positivity and groove (man). Ziggy Stardust belonged to a very unique species of Rock’n’Roll Brain Monsters (Felix Nippon) who were often found lurking in the big egos and delusions of up and rising rock musicians (with too much money to spend it all on blow).
I'm an alligator, I'm a mama-papa coming for you
I'm the space invader, I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for you
His appearance was rather shocking for his time; big red hair, sleek silver suits with funky accessories, screwed up eyes, screwed down hairdo, well hung and a sexy snow white tan. Glitter wasn’t optional; it was the very norm by which Stardust operated. It was the key with which he unlocked the drab hearts of grey old humanity and let some god honest kick ass Technicolor Soul shine in and chase away the ghosts of boredoms past.
His message was simple enough from the beginning: Soul Love, man! Romance, sex, rebellion and passion! Live like you mean it, kids!
He took no prisoners and made no excuses. He had no patience for people who did not get it and no patience to wait for the ones who couldn’t catch up. Humanity was dragged into a Moonage Daydream by a reckless Starman, whether it wanted to or not.
Keep your mouth shut,
you're squawking like a pink monkey bird
Although the original message was one of positive spirit and all sorts of funky stuff, it soon turned sour in the hands of the pretentious demi-god. He quickly submerged his golden being into an ocean of sex and drugs, losing himself in the excesses of body and soul like only a true rock star can. In the process he also lost sight of his own sexuality and, confusingly, started to refer to himself as “Lady Stardust”. This served no greater purpose than to throw his hordes of followers into a closet homosexual tail spin, cross-dressing to their hearts’ content, while old Ziggy happily snorted away his grand rock’n’roll dreams into the rotting oblivion of his mind.
Still… Drugs and decadence are the stuff Stars are made of. In his stoned stupor, Ziggy still managed to pull himself together to deliver unto the world the greatest rock’n’roll tour to ever put its huge silvery platformed boot on the soil of Man. It didn’t matter if you lived or died, before or after, because all that mattered was the show, the whole show, and nothing but the show. For so sayeth the Prophet:
We can't dance, we don't talk much, we just ball and play
But then we move like tigers on vaseline
Well the bitter comes out better on a stolen guitar
You're the blessed, we're the spiders from Mars
Ziggy swept the nations like a Golden Gale of Awesomeness. The last of the non-believers were converted and baptized in champagne and mascara, leaving not a single soul untouched upon the face of the rocking Planet Earth. Women from all walks of life fell in love with Ziggy Stardust and men from all corners of society fell in love with Lady Stardust - or at least wished they were half as cool as any of the Martian Spiders. Humanity was electrified by the divine presence of this Glitter God, this Golden Calf, in whose likeness there was none other to behold.
Ziggy played for time, jiving us that we were voodoo
The kids was just crass. He was the nazz
With God given ass
He took it all too far, but boy could he play guitar
But just like the most brilliant stars in the black velvet night sky eventually so also burned out Ziggy. He crashed like a flaring super nova into an abyss of self pity and hopeless despair, usually referred to as “Suffragette City”. His bright life, in all its splendor, had come to pass and it was only in his last dying words that Humanity found the strength to carry on, hoping to one day be able to re-create the Age of Wonder that Ziggy had brought to them in his own grandiose rock’n’roll suicide:
No matter what or who you’ve been
No matter when or where you’ve seen
All the knives seem to lacerate your brain
I’ve had my share, Ill help you with the pain
You’re not alone
And thus rocked the greatest Rock Star to ever rock it out with his cock out. All hail the Dead Rebel! Freak out, far out, in out!