December 13th

"Advent Haikus"

By

Elise

In keeping with the spirit of Christmas, I decided to express my feelings and thoughts in the form of poetry. More specifically, this is a series of haikus that will rollercoaster you through food, men, and women. I think I should warn you that these are profound theories of mine that will later be found in ethics books all across the nation (or on bathroom walls - you get the idea). Therefore, these are not for the faint of heart or lactose intolerant. Enjoy.

On Food:

Went to Dairy Queen.

So glad was I to know they

Would not milk me. Ouch.

I ate Mexican

Not a man. The food. It smells.

My dog howls tonight.

On men:

You watch me walk by.

You smile. Too bad you don’t know

I just took big poop.

Don’t buy girl’s dinner.

Win her heart faster and buy

A box of tampons.

On women:

I love my best friend.

I spend the night at her house.

Her dad has soft bed.

Stay away from girls

Who carry sharp knives and smell

Like a period.