December 15th

"Taste of Bleach"

By

Rosie

How many men will admit to tasting their own spooge? Hmm, that’s what I thought. Listen, anyone who reads my stuff knows that I’m not exactly the Virgin Mary. I have given a few blow jobs in my days. And I am here to tell the guys that most loads taste like bleach. Oh, sometimes there is a little after taste of something unidentifiable. But most of them taste like bleach.

I was so happy when the porn industry hit it big and guys all of a sudden decided that what was hot was not swallowing but shooting the stuff all over our faces or breasts or our hair. You could only suck so many of these loads down before you feel like barfing in your guy’s lap for suggesting that, in addition to getting lockjaw from sucking and muscles you didn’t want from jerking, you should also swallow. And then they dare to complain about licking us? WTF? You go down there, lay down, do some fancy movements with your tongue and you are out of there. You don’t have to go through the acrobatics we do and then, on top of that, pray that he didn’t eat some funky stuff for lunch.

That’s why my policy has always been: sure I’ll swallow - the second time I blow you. The first time you can shoot it wherever you want. BUT then you have to have a little taste. No tasty, no swallow. That’s the rule. Not that any of my past men will admit to their friends they have. But it makes me laugh that when you want us to act like porn stars, we can get dressed, put on full make up and high heels and then play with ourselves and ever so sexy-like lick our own juice off our fingers… that’s cool in your book. But taste a little of your stuff?  Give me a break. Next time you bang one out, give it a little taste. Then give your partner a little more respect than you give her now.

Having a bowl of mints next to the bed is always a nice touch.

Edited to say: Skeletal Grace has never partaken of his tasty little delight. His stuff tastes like chocolate cake and sunshine.

TTR