The Life of Me
Part 4 - Of Little Tiny Chinese Ladies and the Differences We Make
Living where I live, I'm thrust into contact with people from all over the world. This is the American compound, but we have diplomats that have been everywhere and frequently bring husbands or wives back from the countries they've been assigned to. Such is the case with one of our neighbors. He's American and his wife is Chinese. They have two kids and also the wife's mother living with them. 'Mom' doesn't know English except, hi and hello. I heard a 'hey' from her once, but I think that was a slip up.
This little lady was one of the first people I came in contact with when we got here. She was standing outside, smoking a no-filter cigarette, and gave us a huge smile as we dragged our suitcases and our asses up the sidewalk. Jet-lagged and out of sorts as I was, it was impossible not to respond to her genuine welcoming smile. We were 'new' and she felt for us. Never once did I ever see this woman that she didn't give me her beautiful open smile. Again, impossible not to respond to her. Even as I was just walking passed with my dog, I always left her space feeling a little happier, no matter what my day had been like before that.
The little Chinese lady lives on the first floor with her family – we live on the third. I guess she's not allowed to smoke in the apartment because she is outside a lot. There's a picnic table in the front that she sits at all the time, mending things. I don't have any clue what on earth she finds to sew so much, but it keeps her busy and she seems to enjoy it. When we first moved in here I was approached (jumped) by another woman who lives here. She informed me that everybody in the building found the little Chinese lady 'annoying', because she was outside smoking all the time.
Okay... first… I don't tolerate gossips well. Second… do not tell me what or how I should think about another human being. Third… I generally dislike women on the spot. I've never liked girls or women, and don't even care enough to look into the possible underlying psychological neurosis that might accompany this tendency. I am a heterosexual extremist and I'm comfortable with that. What the hell was this gossip bitch trying to do, anyway? Worm her way into my good graces by 'warning' me about what everybody else thought? She wormed her way right onto my shit list, is what she did. I think what really pissed me off is the fact that this little Chinese lady smiled at EVERYBODY the same way. She sure as hell did not discriminate. She had done absolutely nothing to deserve her own gossip column.
My little Chinese lady also likes plants. A lot. She's tending her little garden in the front of the building in one of the flower beds all the time and it looks good! She and I have had conversations about plants and flowers. I don't speak Chinese and she doesn't speak English. Incidentals. We do just fine, thank you.
I came home one day with three 'pot roses.' These are teeny rose bushes that you keep inside. Bonsai roses, sort of. I just had to have them. They were so tiny and perfect but smelled like full sized roses. I apologized to them before I got them home though. I have a habit of murdering houseplants. When we got home from this shopping trip, My Lady was sitting outside on her picnic table and greeted us with a "Hi!" and a smile. I had all three of my pot roses in a plastic bag and motioned her over. She dropped her mending and trotted over to me, smiling all the way. I opened my bag to show her my treasure, and she actually gasped. HUGE smile from her. Hell that alone made the purchase worth while. I indicated that she should smell the roses and she did. She rattled something off in Chinese, and I nodded my head because I completely agreed with her - whatever she said. About a week later I cut a rosebud from each of the bushes. A red one, white one, and a pink one. I let them dry on the window sill and tied them up with a little ribbon. I gave them to her as I left to go to the market one day. I could feel her smiling at me as I walked down the sidewalk.
I ran into her at the market once. I go there a lot just to look around because Germans have the bestest cheese and bread on the planet. I just happen to be a cheese and bread junkie. Every time I go there I buy a different kind of something or other, and haven't ever bought the same thing twice. Anyway, I was walking toward one of the bread aisles and I heard a, "Hi hi hi hi hi hiiii!!!" I turned around, and the first thing I saw was the Chinese Lady’s smile. I said hello and she motioned to her basket and to mine and asked a question. I nodded and smiled because I thought we should shop together too. I am not what you would call "a shopper", but throw in a really exuberant Chinese lady that speaks no English, and a German grocery store where most everybody speaks nothing but German, and it is no longer shopping. It's an adventure! I should mention that I don't speak German. Yet. I'm signed up for language classes that start in August.
So, my friend and I continue walking and she's talking nonstop about everything. I'm nodding and agreeing. I'm pointing out things that I've tried that I like and she's doing the same thing. Kind of neat, buying stuff that you don't know what's in it. It's like opening a Christmas present! We get to an aisle that has a really large Mexican food section and she says, "Mmmmmm!", and points to it and rubs her belly. No shit! She likes Mexican food? I made up my mind right then and there that I would make something for her and surprise her with it some day. I'm going to make Eos' Stuffed Tortillas. I learned this recipe when I was living in a domestic violence shelter with my daughter (that's a story for another time).
Eos’ Stuffed Tortillas
Make your tortilla dough, but use a combination of flour and very fine white corn meal. When it's fried, it puffs up just a tiny bit and the corn meal gives it a very slight sweetish flavor.
For the insides... my favorite meat to use is pork. It just seems to taste the best. I take pork chops and cut it into short, thin strips and sauté it until it's done, then add a packet of taco seasoning. While that's cooking you empty a can of refried beans into a bowl and drain, and then add a small can of 'Mexicorn'... that stuff that has green peppers in with the corn.
Also, get a jar of your favorite salsa and strain all the juice out of it. Actually dump the salsa in a fine strainer and shake it around. The salsa chunks have to be almost dry or it makes the filling too soupy. Saves you the time of cutting up all the veggies, plus it's already seasoned. Mix all this in with the refried beans and corn. You can put rice in it also. Any kind will do. Even make a box of Spanish rice and throw in there. You can put some shredded cheese in there, as long as it's a dry cheese.
Add the meat to all of this and mix it up. Yes it looks like you think it must, with the refried beans and all, but that doesn't matter. Trust me. I also add extra cumin, salt, pepper and some hot sauce to the mix. Roll out a tortilla and put a spoon full of the mix on it. Fold the tortilla all up and crimp the sides with your fingers. Fry it in oil until the tortilla is golden. Done.
I made a huge batch of these one day and kept looking out my kitchen window to see if she was outside yet. I wanted to give her a fresh one while it was still crunchy. She came out and fired up a cigarette and I wrapped one up in a couple of paper towels and took it down to her. Her eyes got huge as she unwrapped it. I cautioned her that it was hot hot hot... She nodded that she understood and took her first careful bite.
Now, I've been complimented on my cooking before - I've been downright flattered over some of my invented dishes - but this lady's reaction to these stuffed tortillas was the absolute best compliment anyone could ever hope to receive about anything. Ever. I didn't think her eyes could get any bigger than they were when I first handed her the tortilla, but they did. She said, "Ooooooh!" Then she took another bite and actually got to the filling. Her face just lit up with surprise and she finished chewing that bite and started to talk about it. She kept talking and kept eating. She was all excited and kept waving her arms around, letting everybody know how good this thing was. She would reach out and pat my arm in thanks. Sappy thing that I am, I was almost in tears because she was enjoying the tortilla that much. It made her really really happy and I was glad. I smiled at her and patted her shoulder and then came back inside. I peeked out the kitchen window, and she was still standing in the same spot, eating her tortilla, and still smiling.
That was a very good day.
I'm writing her story now, because a few days ago I went outside at about 11:30 pm to take the dog out for the last time that night. She was standing outside smoking, which was odd. I'd never seen her out that late. We smiled and said hi as usual, and then she did something really unexpected. She pushed past my Great Dane (that everybody knows will eat you if you get too close to Mommy) and she hugged me. I was stunned. It took me a few seconds to recover and I hugged her back. The dog just watched and wasn't bothered in the least. She backed up a step and she had tears in her eyes. I wrinkled my forehead in confusion and she told me that they were leaving. She said, "bye bye" and made a hand motion of a plane taking off. I said, "Oh..." and I got tears in my eyes too. She made the motion of putting flowers to her nose and smelling them. I knew that she still had the dried roses I had given her and I nodded. She rubbed her belly and said "Mmmmmmm!" She laughed and so did I. She really liked those things.
We just stood there for a few more seconds and for the first time since our first meeting, we had an awkward silence. She smiled and said something in Chinese. I didn't understand the words, but I know it was a blessing and a well wishing. I nodded and told her that I valued our friendship and that I wished her happiness, comfort, and joy for the rest of her life. We knew there would be no keeping in touch. Having her daughter translate letters for us would take everything that was special and unique out of our friendship. I hugged her again briefly and waved good-bye. I continued on my walk with my dog and when I got back, My Lady wasn't there. The packers came the next day and I haven't seen her since. I suppose she went ahead to where they were going next, with the kids, because I've not seen them again either.
Who knows… Maybe we'll be at the same post again some day. I would really like to be able to explore a new culture with her. Both of us pointing to a can on a shelf in the grocery store, looking at each other, shrugging, and bursting into laughter is my idea of immersing myself in a new land. We may not have spoken the same language but we both spoke "Friendship", and that was enough.
by
Eos
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