Of course he is The Sex®TM, all women want him, all men want to be him, and if you don’t, you are just a jealous prick!
This "man" wears pink.
This "man" shops with his friends, MALE friends.
This "man" pulls his polo shirt collar up in an attempt to imitate Judd Nelson
This "man" is the antithesis of what men have been for eons of time.
Call me old fashioned, but pink is a WOMAN'S color - still Studly wears it proudly to show off his metrosexuality.
Studly McMuffin... Oh, how we men longed to compare penis sizes with our "friends", we longed to be that sports star hero, and how we longed that you would never find out that it was I who shoved the potato up the tail pipe of your lame ass Ford Talon.
Now that I am done ranting, I should get into the interworkings of Studly's brain. It is quite simple really:
Not that I am jealous that I don’t have great abs, perfect skin, and a penchant for pink - because I hate pink, I am a lazy ass, and I don’t bathe... EVER.
What I do not like about Studly is that he has the world handed to him on a silver platter. Daddy loves him, mommy fucks his friends, and they make movies about him, glorifying this upper middle class ass tyrant.
Whoa, I am going off topic...
These are the guys that rape girls on Prom Night, these are the guys that practice locker room sodomy and beat the shit out of someone because he was wearing Studly's old shoes that were given to a thrift store a long time ago. Everyone knows that only scum shop at thrift stores, and of course rubs this in, thus making that kid decide to wear combat boots for the rest of his life.
These are the guys that caused the Colombine shooting, and we are supposed to feel SORRY that they got their heads blown off? I do not fucking think so!!! Uhmmm....
Don’t worry ladies, he's gay...
I guess I cannot find any REAL reason to hate Studly McMuffin that doesn’t sound like jealousy. The Studlies are leading a life that SEEMS cool, but anyone on the outside looking in can't help but wonder how he seems to just aimlessly float through life, like so many others of his peers.
There is a director’s cut where Glenn gets up and rips the fat dude's heart out...
"Guess where THESE fingers have been"
Think about how long he takes to get that right kind of spikiness in his hair, what kind of conditioner he uses, or moisturizer, or how long it took him to put his trucker hat on just right... Because HE does. This guy spends more time getting ready than a woman, which is pretty pathetic. I know a girl likes a neat guy, but these guys are not men, they are bitches.
The next time you are at Marvin’s, or wherever you buy your clothes (thrift stores?), just take some time to look around and eaves drop a little bit on what these guys, who for some reason shop in packs, like to talk about.
