DRS Car Clinic
Every now and then OD will answer questions about your car, or anything else car related. No matter how fucked up your question is, you'll get a straight ass answer. Send questions to:
From Marlboro Red:
Q. Fact or fiction?: Amoco/BP gasoline is better than any other gas. What exactly is "good gas" and why should I pay .25 a gallon more for it?
A. BP Amoco gasoline isn't any better or worse than any of the other brands available. The thing to pay attention to is octane ratings. Most vehicles call for 87 AKI (Anti Knock Index) or 91 R+M2 (Research Method) octane gasoline. Places like Kansas that still use the Research Method kind of screw people over that need true premium. I am forced to use "Premium" here due to octane ratings being too low. Using an Octane Grade that is too low results in poor performance and bad gas mileage. Consult your owner’s manual for the proper octane needed for your vehicle.
Q. WTF is a timing belt and why is your ass grass if it breaks? Exactly how far can I wait before it snaps?
A. A timing belt keeps your camshafts and valves in synchronicity (time) with the pistons. There are two different kinds of motors that use belts, interference and non-interference. If the motor is an interference design and the belt breaks, the valves will hit the pistons in the cylinder bore and cause severe damage. A non-interference design keeps this from happening because the valves don't open far enough to let them hit the pistons in the cylinder bore. In any event your motor still won't run and it will result in a costly repair bill.
How far you can go varies from manufacturer to manufacturer, but a mechanic I know recommends inspection every 20,000 miles, and replacement every 40,000 miles, regardless of the actual recommendation from the manufacturer.
My advice is stay away from timing belt engines at all costs, and seek out cars, trucks, and SUVs that use chains instead. Pontiac used gears in their storied 2.5 liter 4 cylinder, earning it the nickname of "the Iron Duke". And even today companies build gear sets for use in traditional V8s.
Q. My car has high mileage. I'm currently using Valvoline Max Life oil in it because the goobers at the oil change place say it's better for my car. Is that true or am I getting ripped off?
A. Any brand of Valvoline is great oil. The new high mileage oils rock for older motors, they have special polymers added to help slow down leaks and improve the piston ring to cylinder wall seal. Not a waste of money at all. Stay away from Quaker State’s new high mileage oil though. Those tards added Slick 50 to it, and I hate that shit. So does every mechanic I have ever talked to.
Another subject worth touching on here is the grade of oil to use. Using an oil that is too heavy will make the motor run hotter and decrease gas mileage. If your owner’s manual calls for a 5W-30 oil, use 5W-30. They spent a shitload of money figuring out what oil works best. Ford will even void a warranty for using the wrong grade of oil. You can however use any brand of oil you want. Synthetic oils kick ass and can be used at any time.
Don't use an oil for diesel motors in a gasoline motor. They are two different animals and require different additives to keep break-down and corrosion at bay.
I use Castrol Syntec Oil in all of my cars, but I will not say it is better than Valvoline. It is just what I prefer.
Q. Buying tires - If you can't afford Michelins, how do you pick out a good tire?
A. Talk to local tire shops. Or, if you don't trust them, go to http://www.tirerack.com. They have an excellent website which explains what the UTQG means and how to read it. Also of great use is a Customer Reviews section about the tires they sell. Keep in mind what kind of tire you want and what your normal driving is. Don't buy kick ass high performance summer tires that would be better suited for a Corvette, if you drive a fucking Vega. For most people, All-Season rated tires are fine.
Q. How often do you REALLY need to have the tires rotated? And how often do you need an alignment?
A. No more than 10,000 miles between rotations. I recommend doing rotations every other oil change. Get them rebalanced, also. Tires don't stay in balance for the life of the tire ever. Alignment should be checked every 15,000 miles, once a year, or if a tire technician notifies you of adverse wear patterns on your tires. And if the lazy fucker is doing his job, he will tell you.
Q. Does a clean car really run better than a dirty one? Or is this just a ploy by my family to get me to get my car washed before I visit them and park it in their driveway?
A. No it doesn't. However, your car’s paint will last longer and rust will be kept at a minimum, thus enhancing trade-in or resell value, when it is time to move on to a newer car. You should also spray the undercarriage of your car thoroughly whenever you wash your car. Besides, who doesn't like seeing a nice shiny car in the driveway?
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Question from 2Tempting
Q. When a drunk urinates on your back seat on New Year's Eve, and you were pretty damn sure that you cleaned it up very well, only to find, in the heat of the summer, that the stench is not only still there, but it's become unbearable, what do you do, other than beat up the drunk? I already did that. It didn't help.
A. You should have killed your "friend" and burned the car with his corpse in it. I feel dumber for having known you actually tried to clean it up. Unless you own an old cop car with vinyl seats, pissing in a car is punishable by death.
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Question from Sebastian Bullhorn
Q. How do I safely drive one drunk?
A. You don't, dumbass. You hope and pray that you don't hit anything or get pulled over on the way home. I recommend just passing out in the damn thing and waking up sober before going home.
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Questions from Skeletal Grace
Q. Why does the driver seat always fully recline all the way back, when most second row seats don't? You can't drive like that, and you can't nap there unless you wrap your legs around the steering wheel like some kinky ass hooker. Making out is done in the backseat, so again... why does the DRIVER's seat recline?
A. How the hell should I know? I only know how to fix the shit, but I am glad you asked this question. It is my firm belief that the only difference between an automotive engineer/designer and a kid in kindergarten is the fact the kid uses a crayon.
Making out in the backseat? Have you ever been in a Camaro or a Firebird? Trust me, you can fuck to your hearts content in the front seat of one of those cars but I would love to see you try it in the back seat.
Q. Is it a myth that you should never let your gas tank go below half-full, so to spare the engine from bottom sludge? Is this true even for brand new cars running on highest octane gas?
A. Bottom sludge? If you are getting sludge in your gas tank your gas station owes you an explanation and a tank cleaning.
With the advent of electronic fuel injection, mechanical fuel pumps just can't cut it, so high pressure electric pumps are used. These are typically in the gas tank and use the gasoline for lubrication. By never going below a half tank of gas you should never run out of gas and burn up your fuel pump. Bad mojo if you burn up a fuel pump.
Driving question:
Q. Why the FUCK do people in Florida brake before they change lanes? They decide they want to go into the turning lane, slam on their brakes and THEN move over. What the fuck? Just move over and THEN brake.
Same thing when they turn off the roads, into a gas station or something, but then they come almost to a full stop before proceeding with the turn.
This is a statewide phenomenon, exclusive to Florida, as far as I can tell, and it's EVERYBODY. Not just the old fossils.
A. Not really my area, but I will give you an answer anyways.
This is not just a phenomenon unique to Florida, my friend. Fucktards all over the U.S. do that aggravating-as-fuck practice. I blame it on the fact that the states will gladly give anyone with a pulse a license.
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Question from Shiraz71
Q. How do you get the stale musty smell out of the a/c when you just turn your car on?
A. Wal-Mart, Target, and auto parts stores sell these nifty air fresheners you clip onto your A/C vents. Or you can just squirt your favorite cologne or perfume into the vents right before you switch it on, if you like your car to smell like a French whorehouse, that second option is great.
Just sayin'.
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Questions from slippingirl
Q. Why do premium spark plugs ( NGK platniums, and the ilk) foul faster than cheap ones (AC Delco cheapies) when I'm running very high octane gas (105)? This isn't a question of computer program, gap, wires etc. That has been worked out. It is just that everything I know says that the better plug should be able to handle the advanced spark better than the cheap one.
A. AC Delco plugs are good plugs, but I am guessing you have the wrong heat range if the premium plugs are fouling out. Advanced? Advanced as in how? Did you alter the ignition timing? If so that is done by the ECM nowadays, and whoever did it had better know what they are doing, or bad things are going to happen. Fouled plugs will be the least of your worries. You failed to tell me if they are gas fouled or oil fouled. I am going to guess gasoline fouled.
105 Octane? Sonuvabitch! What the hell kind of car do you drive that needs 105 Octane? A 10 second strip car? Just curious, but how much do you pay for a gallon of that? And where do you buy it? Try running the recommended octane for your car. I have heard of plugs fouling out if too high of octane is being used.
Q. Oh, and why do dogs pee on car tires?
A. They're dogs. It's what they do. They'll even pee on you if you give them a chance. Particularly if you are on the rag.
by
OD
