When I watch Lassie, I get hungry
I’m sure everyone has heard a couple of stupid jokes about Chinese restaurants serving dog meat. Aside from the fact none of them are funny, I always wondered why people even think this was so absurd.
Wouldn't you eat dogs if it was legal? To me there's no difference between eating a cow or a dog, cat, hummingbird... you name it. Not that I've tried it. Just from an ethical point of view.
I don't get it. You eat pigs and then go "ew!" when thinking about eating a dog? Is it because it's illegal? Is it because dogs and cats are oh so cute that you can't take the fact they got killed for you?
I hate hypocrits who eat any other kind of meat and throw a fit when you joke about eating dogs or running over cats or something.
I've eaten horses, ostrichs and frogs and I wouldn't think twice about eating your pet poodle. I don't find anything yucky about it and I don't think some animals are better than others.
Horses shouldn't be eaten because they are beautiful, noble animals? Fuck that, we're talking about the morals of killing creatures, shit like that shouldn't matter at all.
Hell, depending on the person it belongs to, I wouldn't mind eating a human calf either. I’ve often thought calves looked tasty... If I ever had to choose any part of the human body as a meal, that would definitely be it.
But maybe that’s just me...
What really pisses me off are people who eat meat all the fucking time but when they actually see the animal in one piece they make a huge deal out of it. "Ugh! I could never eat that!" .
I was watching TV the other day and I came across some whiny uptight bitches on a "reality" show called Big Brother. There was some team that only got the whole animal that they had to prepare themselves and all the chicks and some guys who wanted to come off as sensitive and... what the fuck do I know, probably gay, started crying about how cruel and/or disgusting that was.
Give me a fucking break. You all eat at McDonalds where you get some stale meat from animals kept in mass stocks that have probably never moved in their entire life, prepared by sweaty losers who get paid so bad that they most likely add some body fluids to your food for free and you bitch about getting a freshly killed deer and being able to make sure it's prepared properly??
Sometimes I'd appreciate it if there were no butchers and everyone who wanted to eat meat would have to disembowel the animals by themselves. Or better yet, kill them, too. On the other hand, all that crying and bitching would probably get really annoying fast.
Which leads me to the vegetarian movement that seems to be more and more "en vogue" these days -
There are several reasons why people claim to be vegetarian. Some of them I understand, some I can at least accept and the rest is just bullshit.
Here are some quotes that make me hate dumb vegetarians:
- “I could never eat animals because they’re innocent creatures being consistent with nature while mankind does everything to destroy it. We don’t deserve taking their lives.”
Well, ever realized animals are fucking stupid? They couldn’t care less what happens to our fucking planet. They’re too dumb to do anything but eating, shitting and fucking. Duh.
If anything that’s one more reason to eat dogs instead. Those bastardized wolves don’t even exist in the wild.
- “Eating something that was alive is just disgusting.”
Yeah, really disgusting. Why don’t you chew on rocks instead?
- “I don’t eat meat. Only fish and poultry.”
Newsflash: You’re not a vegetarian; you’re a fucking attention whore. Instead of saying you don’t like red meat you make up a fancy name for your “lifestyle”.
Ah, forget about it. There’s nothing I can do about it anyway.
I’m gonna go hunt down some stray cats now. Don’t bother taping hundreds of flyers to the lamp poles when Pumpkin, Gizmo, Sylvester, Peaches or whatever you named that son of a bitch doesn’t come home tonight.
