You May Call It Gay…
Male bonding. It’s the one thing that has so many meanings but should not be misinterpreted as gay by any means. I think every man needs it, even if it’s just to go for a beer with the boys after work.
Why is the whole concept of male bonding one of the things that women can’t understand about us? Men need that time on the golf course, shooting 90’s, breaking clubs, and getting ripped on for the fun of it.
We NEED to go to football games with the guys - to feel like guys again. We need to spill beer on each other, to high five each other after that game winning touchdown, to take that long walk back to the car, and then to smell each other’s breaths so to see who is sober enough to drive.
We NEED to camp out for a whole weekend without cell phones. The term “pussy-whipped” should not have to come up for at least 48 hours. We need a whole weekend without getting dragged along to Home Depot to pick out new curtains. We need time with the guys – time when we don’t have to hold someone’s hand because they can’t take a piss by themselves. The art of pissing in the woods for a man is an underestimated pleasure in life; it’s the freedom to hold your head back and piss on Mother Earth without hearing the dribbles pop the toilet seat.
We NEED to be able to, at least once a month, tell anyone and everyone, that it’s boys’ night. Clear out the house, grab the cards, and do what you need to do, to say anything that you feel like saying.
We NEED to spend at least an hour a week in the garage, just to fuck things up. Nothing whatsoever will get accomplished, but the mind will be clear of the day-to-day bullshit that is called Life.
And last but not least, we NEED to take our kids, by themselves, to do anything, as long as you aren’t there. For the most part we are looked at as authority figures by our kids, and there needs to be a time where we aren’t the bad guys, a time when it’s just us and our kids - even if it’s just for an ice cream cone.
Now tell me - what is it that women don’t understand about their men needing to get away from them every now and then, and just be with other guys? Granted, most women could care less, but to the ones who do I ask, “What’s the problem?” Is there really a good reason that you want to go to a Slayer show with your hubby and nine of his drinking buddies? Or are you just afraid that all his NEEDS don’t include you?
Spreading truth,
Manimal Lector
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