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They call me Weed Nazi Jr.
I know a lot of folks who smoke weed, and although I am not against it, I guess it takes a sober mind to see things clearly. I have noticed that a pot smoker will ask someone if they smoke, and then proceed to mention how they LOVE to get high. It is obviously their favorite thing in the whole world to do, why else would they talk about it all the time?
Oh, I have done my fair share of drugs, and I do like the occasional mushroom every now and then, but I don’t make a habit of asking complete asshole strangers if they want to eat some liberty caps and trip balls in the woods, while looking for albino deer and tree dragons (which is what I did). No, I keep it to myself, and I haven’t felt like doing it in a while anyway.
Most people don’t talk about their favorite things to do. Instead they lie and say they like to fish or read... So why is the pot smoker any different? I will tell you why. Because just like any drug user (it’s true, fuckers, it IS a drug), they feel that EVERYONE should enjoy in the festivities of smoking pot and eating nasty ass cookies while watching veggie tales.
It is acceptable to smoke weed, and most people don’t care, but God forbid, THIS should come up:
“Do you fuck watermelons?”
“Er... no...”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have the desire to.”
“Damn, that’s a shame, because every one here fucks watermelons. It’s how we get through the day. God, I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t fuck a watermelon after work. Goddamn, I have the best watermelon at home right now.”
“Ummm... I’m going over here now.”
“Ok, ok, whatever, dude. Be like that. You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”
No, you fucker, because it is not my business to begin with, you sorry sack of shit. Not that I have a problem with people fucking watermelons, it’s just not for me.
Imagine if someone asked you that. Just imagine it... Go on, I am not going anywhere... Are you done? Can you picture the awkwardness you would feel if someone asked you that? Like you were let in on the big water melon fuckfest, and then were looked upon as strange for not doing it? Like there was something wrong with you?
Think about that next time you want to ask if someone smokes weed... That’s how we, who do not smoke, feel EVERY GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TIME we get asked that shit. Just because we have long hair and know the art of bullshitting does not mean we do drugs. I have a twisted view on things anyway; in my mind there are only absolutes, no middle ground. I don't need THC clogging my Logic Gland with junk, like shitty Pink Floyd songs or tie dye.
I prefer reality goddamnit, or at least a liberty cap.
