by
Mitzi Dupree
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A Nice Day For a White-ish Wedding
Part 5 - "Location, location, location"
-----Original Message-----
From: Mitzi Dupree
Sent: Saturday, June 17, 2006 9:27 AM
To: Marilyn Dupree
Subject: Location, location, location
Mom –
We’re having the wedding in our backyard.
Shut up.
Small. Intimate. 50 people tops.
Love,
Mitz
-----Original Message-----
From: Marilyn Dupree
Sent: Saturday, June 17, 2006 8:35PM
To: Mitzi Dupree
Subject: Re: Location, location, location
Honey, I really think the Bed & Breakfast would be a much better option. I don’t believe for a minute that they can’t accommodate you. Sometimes I think you just don’t try hard enough. Would you like me to give them a call?
But, if a backyard wedding is what you and Joe want, it’s fine with me. It’s certainly a lot more work. Don’t forget that I won’t be around to help. Your father and I leave on July 20 for the cruise he won at work, and from there we go directly to your Cousin Samantha’s wedding in Atlanta on August 12. Are you sure you can’t make this wedding? Your Aunt Katie is really miffed. We won’t be back in town until August 15, but I’m sure you’ll be happy to have your “micromanaging mother” out of your hair.
Here’s a quick list of what you’ll need to line up for your backyard party:
Tent
Tables
Chairs
Chair covers
Tablecloths
Napkins
Centerpieces
Cutlery
Plates
Cake Plates
Water glasses
Wine glasses
Champagne glasses
Cocktail glasses
Cocktail napkins
Menu
Chafing dishes
Serving utensils
Caterer
Serving personnel
Alcohol for bar
Dinner Wine
Champagne
Bartender
Dance floor
Disc jockey
Serving table decorations
Flower arrangements
Printed place cards
Parking attendant
Wedding favors
Good luck!
Love,
Mom
P.S., You don’t really have a “backyard.” It’s more of a horse pasture. What sort of footwear are you going to recommend to your guests?
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Mitzi Dupree
9090 WCR 20
Legacy, CO 80627
June 18, 2006
Dear Mother Bankworth,
I can call you mother since we’re going to be family now, right? Ha ha.
I just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that due to a variety of reasons, Joe and I have decided to have the wedding in our very own backyard. We’re very excited about this.
We are envisioning a small, intimate affair for 50 of our closest friends and family members. If you can provide me with a list of whom you’d like to invite, I’ll pop those invitations in the mail!
Looking forward to seeing you in August!
Mitzi
June 21, 2006
Dear Mitzi,
I received your recent letter with the unsurprising news. A backyard wedding. How… quaint.
I will forward my invitation list directly to Joseph.
Please feel free to continue calling me “Mrs. Bankworth.”
Sincerely,
Mrs. Charles J Bankworth
P.S. Isn’t your backyard some sort of pen for animals?
June 22, 2006
Dear Joseph,
Once again, I am aghast. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you are trying to ruin me socially.
Do you honestly expect me to invite our friends to spend an afternoon traipsing through horse dung? Divot replacement at a polo match is one thing, but this is a completely different matter. Tippi Herfordshire’s daughter got married at the Polo Club last year, but she, at least, had the sense to do it in the clubhouse. That’s the closest connection to weddings and manure that I can make in recent memory, but I thank you for changing all that.
Attached is my guest list. It was absurd for that woman to think that I could keep it to just 50 people. I pared it down to 75 and that’s the best that I can do.
Love,
Mother
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Joe Bankworth
June 25, 2006
Mother Dearest,
Please don’t be aghast. I promise your guests will think they’re in a garden paradise. They’ll never know why the grass is so lush and green. Think beautiful white tents and linen. Besides, it will give you an opportunity to trot out one of your Kentucky Derby hats, and you know how much you love that.
One little thing, Mother. When Mitzi said a wedding for 50, she meant 50 people TOTAL, not just on your guest list. Is there any way you can pare a bit more?
Your loving son,
Joseph
9090 CR 20 Legacy, CO 80627
June 28, 2006
Dear Joseph,
Your mother has pushed her cocktail hour back to 10:30 a.m.
She has lipstick on her teeth and she’s shrieking at the maid.
I hope you’re happy.
Father
